


The Average Life of Tad Strange

by TadStrange



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Journal Entries, Tad Strange - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-20 20:45:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 49
Words: 19,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4801685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TadStrange/pseuds/TadStrange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hello, I'm Tad Strange from Gravity Falls, Oregon. The other day a thought hit me, "Why don't I keep a journal?" I nodded to myself and then another bright idea struck me, "Why don't I keep a public journal!" That sounds like fun, I would love to hear from people outside of my home town. If you have any questions about me or the town, don't be afraid and ask away!</p><p>(Updates at least once a week)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Journal Entry 1

Hello Journal, I'm Tad. Today was a fairly ordinary day. I woke up at precisely 5am as I would any other morning and went to the bathroom. When I looked in the mirror and saw that I looked relatively the same as I did yesterday I smiled at myself and felt that today would be a good day. And it was.

I showered, and sung an upbeat tune to myself whilst I stood under the glistening warm streams. After shaving I went and changed into my usual business attire, and made myself a good ol' cup of joe to go with my slice of bread. Today's bread was whole grain served with a tentative layer of raspberry jam and it was delicious. 

Blue birds sang just outside my window and I smiled at them, “How do you do little blue bird? Wonderful morning isn't it?” The birds chirped as if in reply, however, wild birds can not hold meaningful conversations with people. That would be preposterous! Though I wouldn't mind having a pet bird to talk to.

After work I returned to my humble home to relax with a nice slice of warmed bread with melted butter while watching an episode of Truck Dynasty. It was a fairly dramatic day in the lives of the millionaire family, nothing at all like my own, which I can't say I have any desire for such a life. Average is fine by me.

Sometimes I find myself thinking about my future. One day I hope to find someone of whom I can share the rest of my life with and build a family together. I wouldn't mind tucking little Timmy and Susan Strange in at night, kissing them on the forehead, and telling them a fairy tale my parents told me as a child. Oh, what a pleasant life that would be!

I suppose that's it for today. Maybe I'll dream of bread tonight, or a family, or better yet a family of bread!!!

Goodnight Journal.


	2. Journal Entry 2

Hello Journal, Tad again. 

Last night I had a wonderful dream. I was walking through the woods of Gravity Falls and arrived at the edge of a golden field. I stood in awe at the pure beauty before me, for miles there was only wheat save for one lone barn amidst the stalks of grain. The sky was a cascade of colors as the sun was on the verge of dipping beyond the horizon, a gentle breeze creating waves amongst the crops. I made my way through the field towards the barn. As I drew closer the aroma of baking bread grew stronger I couldn't hold back the grin that was forming on my face. The barn door groaned as I pushed it back, taking a step forward into what became a bakery (at the time I hardly noticed, I was too overcome with the thrill of anticipation). I stepped up to the glass display cases and inside there were many varieties of bread including the classic rye, sweet anpan rolls, crunchy baguettes, and fluffy cottage bread as well as several others. I was just about salivating, but before I could even touch a single loaf I was stirred from my dream by my alarm. 

This morning I couldn't help feeling a bit disappointed that I could not partake in a single bite, though it does bring back pleasant memories of my childhood visits to the local bakery. The warmth radiating off the brick ovens and the aroma of fresh steaming bread. How I miss those afternoons spent watching the yeast rise and expand while eating sweet buns. I wonder if this dream has any significance or if my subconscious is trying to tell me something?

I suppose that's enough for now. 

Until next time, goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Dearest Reader(s), I'd like to thank any and all who have taken a moment of their time out of their day to read my journal. It is my wish to continue updating regularly though not much happens in my day to day life so I'll do my best to keep things interesting by writing about other things every now and again. I'd like to get to know my readers, so if you have any questions don't be afraid to ask and let me know if there's something you'd like me to discuss in a future entry (Though try to keep your questions and topics PG ;D this is a 'family friendly' journal). Have a wonderful week and sweet dreams.


	3. Journal Entry 3

Hello Journal. Today I ate at Greasy's Diner and listened to Susan Wentworth (she's a sweet elderly waitress at the diner) as she mentioned having seen lawn gnomes moving around at night. As I ate my stack of maple waffles she mentioned how they seemed to never be in the same place twice and even changed in appearances. I remember hearing Manly Dan (a lumberjack in our town known for his masculine energy and strength) mentioning he'd seen short little men with pointy hats in the woods too. 

All of this sounded like something Dipper Pines (grand nephew of Stan Pines, who loves cryptology and mystery, great kid) would be interested in so I advised her to mention it to him when she got the chance. If things get worse I suggested calling Sheriff Blubs (our sheriff).

I would have forgotten all of this when I got home had I not tripped on something in the middle of my driveway. When I looked back I saw a lawn gnome, face buried in the concrete, laying there and unmoving. “I'm sorry, that was rude of me,” I apologized to the yard decoration, before making my way back inside. I don't remember ever buying a gnome for my garden (I do have a delightful flamingo named Felix). Maybe someone else left it there or all this moving gnomes business is a clever teenage prank. Those kids, secluded to a small town, with so little to do, poor things must be bored out of their minds!

It's probably nothing to worry about.

After eating a baguette I felt more at ease. I glanced outside and the gnome was still on the ground where I left it. Everything is a-okay.

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s), I'd like to thank you just for being you. You're wonderful.
> 
> Cuzicouldyay, thank you for commenting with your wonderful questions. To answer your first question, I find the unusual customs in Gravity Falls rather charming, such as our recent mayoral election. Mayor Tyler will surely treat us well. Unfortunately despite my love for baked goods I have no talent in making them, so to answer your second question I do not have a plan to open a bakery. I would however fully support anyone with plans to start one in and around town. As for your final question, I'd have to say monkey breads are my preferred variety, because you can pull them apart and share them with your friends and they are just so much fun to eat. When I'm alone I'm all for a good partisan bread, but when in motion custard rolls are the way to go. You can never go wrong with a pretzel at the fair. Late at night I prefer whole grain because it makes me sleepy and I just adore garlic bread with anything. Okay, I may have lied, I can't decide on a favorite, I'm sorry, I just can't... Thank you for your delightful thought provoking questions. I hope my answers were to your satisfaction.


	4. Journal Entry 4

Hello Journal, how are you? I'm fine myself. 

This morning I found a strange tiny note, written with small words on a rather average sized leaf. It was really kind of cute, however its contents were not so delightful. Actually it was somewhat disturbing, I'd rather not say the specific contents for that exact reason. To put it plainly it was a threat for having damaged that lawn ornament the other evening. It said that 'they' would be watching me, that I should watch my back if I know what's good for me, and something about a queen (?)... The letter was signed Jeff but I can't recall anyone named Jeff living in Gravity Falls.

Jeff, if you've been following my journal I would like you to know that I am truly sorry for damaging your lawn gnome, and that it was an accident. I am more than willing to pay you back. I don't know what your gnome was doing there, if you or someone else put it there, (as it seems there are some teenagers pulling gnome related pranks) but I am sorry. If you are one of the teens I would ask that if you want to keep what's yours safe to not place them in places where they can be stepped on or even ran over. Try placing them on the roof on maybe on a window sill. I will be more careful in the future to not step on gnomes.

Other than the letter today was great. I listened to the bluebirds again while I ate a warm slice of cheese bread. Toby (head of the 'Gravity Falls Gossiper') and I had coffee as he told me about his recent encounter with a griffin that kidnapped him for a day. I'm not sure what actually happened to him, but he seemed rather riled up so I told him to take it easy for awhile, relax, and take his mind off the incident.

It seems like everyone has had at least one odd experience lately, though that's not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes change is a good thing.

I suppose that's all I have to say for now, until next time.

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s), thank you for your support and your kudos (not sure what that means but I know it's good). I would like to note that I did NOT kill a gnome, or at least I hope I didn't... I mean gnomes are not living creatures and that was probably just a lawn ornament. What's your opinion on recent events? What's your favorite variety of bread? Should I worry about this mysterious Jeff guy?


	5. Journal Entry 5

Hello Journal, Tad here and ready to report for duty! 

Today was a bit stressful at first. I was in a slump at work and I could hardly get anything done as I kept spacing out. I felt a bit less tense after having had a croquette bun for lunch, yet this feeling of general anxiety hung over me like a particularly persistent gray cloud of gloom. My thoughts kept steering back towards that note I mentioned last time and the one I received this morning.

The new letter was thrown through my window, tied to a small rock with string. The contents were once again threatening, but gave me a bit more information about this mystery Jeff fellow. Apparently to compensate for his gnome, Marston, he wants me to find him a beautiful young queen for him and his friends, Carson, Steve, Jason, and Shmebulock (what an unusual yet charming name) to marry. I suppose what he means is he needs a female lawn ornament to go with his damaged gnome so he and his friends can hold a wedding for them. Isn't that just sweet? A garden wedding! Though I kind of wish my window had survived the ordeal...

So, on my way home I bought this cute little pixie from a gardening center a little ways out of Gravity Falls, she even has gorgeous little white dress! I placed her outside on the porch along with a note explaining how sorry I felt about Marston and that I hope he is happy with his new blushing bride to be.

Kids these days and their strange hobbies. I'll have to get that window repaired tomorrow however it's all worth it if I can make a couple kids happy even for just a moment. I hope they like her, I'm really excited to see what they think. May they live long and prosper.

That's all for now.

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s), I hope you're all doing well and enjoying your week so far. Thank you for your support.
> 
> Reader cuzicouldyay made the lovely suggestion to give Jeff a baked good as a peace offering. I happened to have a few extra jam tarts so I've placed them outside in a plastic tub for those crazy kids when they come to collect their bride. I'm glad you like bread just as much as I do, that makes us kindred spirits! I hope you have a lovely day too! Thank you for your continued support.
> 
> As always don't be afraid to ask questions or comment. Do you think Jeff and his friends will like the pixie? I think the name Shmebulock is just so delightful, it just puts a smile right on my face. I can't say I recognize any of those names, maybe they are only in town for the summer like the Pines' twins? Let me know what you think or if there's something else you'd like me to discuss next time.
> 
> Goodnight my dear Reader(s)!!!


	6. Journal Entry 6

Hello Journal.

They didn't like the gift I sent them...

' _Hello house resident. We don't appreciate you mocking us, I am so offended right now, like you can't even imagine! A PIXIE DECORATION!!! REALLY?!?!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!! Despite how angry you've made us, at least one of us did love your gift. Remember that guy you stepped on. Marston? Yeah, he LOVES her! Lucky break buddy, we've decided for his sake to drop our vendetta on you so that we can get him and her settled in and move on with our lives. He's forgiven you for paralyzing most of his body, restricting him to life carted around in a tiny wheelbarrow. Forever. You should count yourself blessed that he's such a nice guy!_

_'Look we, don't want anymore trouble from you or any other humans, so just stay out of the forest and for crying out loud watch where you put your giant feet! The wedding is this weekend so we'll be dropping by to pick you up so you can 'give the bride away'. Don't think we haven't forgotten what you did. Thanks for the tarts by the way, they were really good, you should probably bring more to celebrate! Oh, and uh... don't tell that Dipper kid about this... We kind of... don't want him to know... Thanks!_

_JEFF_ '

I guess this means I'll finally get to see what Jeff looks like. I don't know how to feel about all this. Maybe it all worked out for the best.

Banana bread sounds good right about now.

I'm sure there's nothing to worry about and I'm just getting nervous over nothing.

Goodnight, Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s). I have to admit I'm a bit shaken. This letter didn't mention any violence in the near future, yet it is the letter that has left me feeling the most disturbed, and I can't really pinpoint why... Am I overreacting? Deep breaths Tad. In and Out. In and Out.
> 
> Reader letters_creat_worlds left a very nice somewhat confusing comment. I do like cookies. I don't mind being baked goods. I don't really follow the "write Tad/him" part, as though I'm not me, but I'm glad you like my journal. Your comment isn't random in the slightest! It's actually lifted my spirits a bit after that letter. If you were baked goods, you'd be a cinnamon roll, because you're so sweet. :D
> 
> Thank you all for following me this far. Wish me luck!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!!!


	7. Journal Entry 7

Hello Journal.

So I met Jeff and his friends, nice guys actually, and definitely not what I was expecting. They are gnomes.

The wedding was exciting, I led (well more like carried) the bride, Sybil, down the aisle, to Marston in his wheelbarrow. They are very happy together, they even had three-tiered cake! I guess this makes me a dad(?)! There was a nice squirrel dance and forest feast complete with cute little pieces of toast! I wish you guys could have been there, I had a blast.

After the initial shock of being kidnapped from my home in the middle of the night, immediate realization that gnomes are real, and general awkwardness the ensued it turned out we actually get along quite well. We spent hours talking about bread alone! Crazy right? So we plan to hangout, drink tea, and eat sandwiches in the future.

The after party was amazing. There were manotaurs (manly minotaurs), unicorns, actual pixies, and things I don't know what to call all celebrating my daughter's wedding to nymphs singing and satyrs playing flutes. I think I may have been the only human there, but they all seemed to like me for the most part. Even Marston was more than willing to forgive me for stepping on him (Sybil must have put in a good word for me :D).

Sadly I don't have any pictures of the event but I still have some of the tiny toast and I took pictures of them!

Aren't they just adorable? XD

I'm glad everything turned out the way it did. It looks like I was getting worried over nothing after all.

Until next time.

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s)! I had a great time at the wedding. I was really surprised at first to find out that well, magic and magical creatures exist. I would like to thank cuzicouldyay and letters_creat_worlds for wishing me luck and I would like to thank everyone for following me this far.
> 
> Seeing as how this whole gnome hate mail period has drawn to a close I was hoping to spend some time getting to know what you guys are interested in, and what you would like to know in the future. As always don't be afraid to ask if you have any questions or comments. 
> 
> Until next time.
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s).


	8. Journal Entry 8

Hello Journal.

I'm going to breakaway from my usual entry. Instead of recounting my day I will simply address you, the reader(s). So without further adieu...

Hey Reader(s).

How are you all doing this splendid day/evening/night?

Reader, Takahashi Red, sent in a letter requesting a meeting upon their visit to Gravity Falls. I'd love to grab a cup of coffee with you. It's always great to meet a fellow bread fan. Will Greasy's Diner be alright with you? I'll be free Friday afternoon. I hope to see you then. :D

Frequent reader, letters_creat_worlds, sent in another lovely comment as well as some excellent questions. I'm not sure how to compare growing up in Gravity Falls to anywhere else, but I'd like to imagine I had a fairly normal childhood. It's a small town so not much happens beyond the yearly festivals and extra holidays. Why, I can't imagine celebrating Halloween only once a year! I guess our traditions are considered odd, but I definitely wouldn't have it any other way. I'm happy with my life thus far. It's only recently that things like gnomes and stuff floating into the air started happening. As for the residents, they are like family to me, I think they're all perfect the way they are. I would like to ask you dear reader, why you didn't expect the gnomes and I would get along? Are gnomes common in your area? Are they mean in anyway? Certainly the notes were unsettling, but I get the feeling that Jeff and his family, my family by extension, simply have a different way of life than we do. Though I'm no expert on the subject. Maybe I should ask Dipper when I get the opportunity...

Hey reader cuzicouldyay! I think your idea to hold a bread festival in Gravity Falls sounds just wonderful! I can't imagine anyone being against the idea. I'll propose the festival to Mayor Tyler and Jeff ASAP, then we can invite neighboring towns too. Of course all my dearest readers are invited to join, I'll let you all know when it's officiated and approved by the town council. (Maybe I'll petition for a bakery to be built while I'm at it!) It's amazing how well you know the residents of our town. I too hope things continue to go well. :)

I'm always happy to read your comments and I always strive to put smiles on all your faces. Unless you don't like smiling. There's nothing wrong with that too. 

Have a great day!

Goodnight Journal/Reader(s)!!!


	9. Journal Entry 9

Hello Journal.

This morning I saw the blue birds again, singing by my window. Their voices were oddly deep and constant yet simply beautiful. I didn't think they could go that low in tone. Were they even blue birds?

Jeff came by with a few of the boys and a loaf of cheese bread. We drank orange blossom tea and had a long extensive conversation about gardening. I mentioned the possibility of a bread festival in Gravity Falls to Jeff. He said that he would bring up the subject to the rest of the family and the other forest folk. Mayor Tyler loved my proposal, but was perplexed by my mentioning of gnomes. I really should introduce him to my new family soon. Take my two families and slowly knead them into one single lump of dough. Would my readers count as a third family? (You know I love you guys ;D <3 JOIN THE DOUGH!!!)

I waited at Greasy's Diner for reader, Red, today around noon, but they never showed up. I'm sure they must of had something come up. (Do you want to try again next week?) I hope you are safe, wherever you may be.

Before I went home I went for a walk in the woods. It was quiet and peaceful. I saw a doe, her black eyes unblinking as they bored into mine. I don't know how long we stood there staring at each other, because the next thing I knew I was at home in a bubble bath and five hours had passed. It was perplexing, because I can't recall ever buying bubble bath. Not that I don't enjoy a good sudsy soak every now and again.

That's all for now.

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s), old and new.
> 
> I've heard of this website called 'tumblr' from Soos Ramirez (employee of the Mystery Shack and all around handyman). Apparently there's a lot of content pertaining to Gravity Falls, its residents, and me (something about squares) on it. I'm curious to see what all the fuss is about, yet based on what he said I'm not sure I want to know. Should I go ahead and check it out?
> 
> Hey letters_creat_worlds, I'm sorry to hear that your gnomes are less friendly than ours. I could try asking Jeff instead of Dipper to help you out. I'm glad you liked hearing about my life, I was nervous it might come off as boring.
> 
> Hello reader GollyGamma. I'm not sure what you mean by a crossover, could you elaborate on that? I can't do VLOGS, I don't own a video camera, but I always find meeting new people simply delightful. I have a flamingo named Felix, I'm not sure why you want to make videos with him... I'm really confused actually. If you could explain it to me that would be just wonderful. I'm sorry for being so troublesome.
> 
> I believe that's all for today. As always don't be afraid to ask or comment!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!!!


	10. Journal Entry 10: Lemon Loaf

Hello Journal.

This is entry number ten! We are officially in the double-digits! Shall we celebrate with a bread baking recipe! As you may know, I have no skill in baking myself, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy reading recipes and sharing them with those who can. This recipe is from the internet, so I can take no credit in its majesty.

LEMON LOAF: 1⁄2 cup butter, 1 cup sugar, 2 eggs, 1⁄2 cup milk, 1 1⁄2 cups flour, 1 teaspoon baking powder, 1⁄2 teaspoon salt, 1 lemon rind 

GLAZE: 1 lemon juice, 1/4 cup of sugar

STEP 1: Put the butter and sugar in a large bowl.

STEP 2: Add eggs and beat them until creamy, with a whisk preferably, not your fists.

STEP 3: Add the milk.

STEP 4: In a completely separate not at all the same bowl, mix together the flour, baking powder, salt, and lemon rind.

STEP 5: Pour gently the contents of the second bowl into the first bowl. You can add food coloring too if you want to bake an unconventionally colored lemon loaf.

STEP 6: Stir to make it nice and moist.

STEP 7: Pour into a greased loaf pan, but if your feeling creative it can be a fish shaped pan or any pan really. 

STEP 8: Bake within a 350 degrees Fahrenheit oven for about an hour

STEP 9: Smile and read a good book. No wait you should make the glaze actually. See step 14.

STEP 10: Let it cool for five minutes

STEP 11: Poke your lovely creation full of tiny holes, a tear rolling down your face, before pouring the glaze of your newly formed child.

STEP 12: Let it cool again because you can never be too cool. Add sunglasses if you feel so inclined.

STEP 13: There is no step thirteen. Why you might ask? Well, we simply don't talk about what happened to step thirteen.

STEP 14: Combine the lemon juice and sugar in a saucepan.

STEP 15: Stir until the sugar melts away. 

STEP 16: Refer to step 11 for more information on glazing your loaf.

STEP 17: You may now take this opportunity to take pictures of your creation. Post them on the internet, share them with your friends, and invite them over for tea.

STEP 18: WAIT! Did you turn off the oven? Go ahead and check to make sure you actually did that all important, life-saving, step.

STEP 19: Pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

STEP 20: Eat my friend. You've earned it.

I tried making this myself, but I accidentally mixed up the sugar and salt quantities. It was a sad day in baking history. I hope you all have better luck with it!

That's all for today! 

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s)! How was your weekend? 
> 
> letters_creat_worlds, thank you for always commenting. I do enjoy bubble baths, I just simply wasn't expecting to have one. I'm not sure what to inspect considering the doe. The forest around Gravity Falls is so great and vast that one could easily get lost and there must be hundreds of deer. I'm sure I just spaced out more than usual. I think I'll take your advice and wait before joining the tumblr community. Though I must ask what you mean by 'demon version of me'? I don't consider myself a matchmaker, though sometimes I like to think that I brought my daughter and Marston together. Yes, you are now officially my cousin.
> 
> Dear reader Red, I'm sorry to hear about the terrible things that happened to your friend and his brother. I'm not sure what you mean by 'he died' and I have no clue what TCC is but I'm glad you're okay. Does Friday sound good? If not maybe Saturday?
> 
> I hope you're all eating well.
> 
> Until next time.
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!!!!!


	11. Journal Entry 11

Hello Journal.

I'm glad to hear that everyone enjoyed the recipe. Oh man, I wish I could be there with you guys when you do bake it, but that could potentially get expensive. Maybe I should ask Susan to make it at the diner? I'm sure she would love to try something new, she's so talented!

This morning was fairly normal. I had a slice of pumpkin roll and pumpkin coffee, which I will admit isn't my favorite, but I can't help but get excited for the fall season. Here at Gravity Falls we love Halloween. A lot. We may in theory love it too much, but we would argue that is just silly. You can never love Halloween too much. Why that's what Summerween is for, loving it more.

I can remember walking down the sidewalk, pillowcase in hand, in my cinnamon roll costume. Ah, those were the days, or nights, it really depends on which holiday you're talking about. There used to be this ghost story we would tell each other about the Summerween Trickster. I never believed in it, but at times I could have sworn a saw a black shadow on the rooftops of some of the houses I passed. Birds, I would tell myself, probably just birds.

On my way home today I stopped by the woods again and came across the peculiar smell of freshly baked bread. I tried following the scent, but I sadly could not find its source. At least there were no deer this time, and no loss of time. No bubble baths. None. Though I wouldn't mind another one. I will investigate the mysterious bread smell soon, I bet it's just the gnomes or some other forest folk I've get to make the acquaintance of.

Until next time.

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s).
> 
> Today I had to, unfortunately, delete a comment. Not because it was profane, offensive, or mean but because it contained private information. Please dear readers, for your own privacy and safety I must ask that you do not post your real name, email, or any other personal information in the comments. I do not want any of you to get hurt and the internet can be a dark dangerous place. Please be careful when commenting in the future.
> 
> Dear Red, I look forward to seeing you Friday. Please be safe and careful on your way here. I'm sure you'll do just fine!
> 
> cuzicouldyay, I'm glad you liked my recipe! It's not original, but then again it wouldn't be a lemon loaf anymore if I made it myself. I'm having a lovely day, I'm sure you'll fair better than me, and I do hope your day is just as lovely as mine.
> 
> letters_creat_worlds, it's great to hear you too like the recipe. I have no idea why anyone would think I'm a demon. Did I do something wrong? Why would anyone want me to be one?! I can't see any scenario where I'd be anyone but myself. Maybe the demon me hates bread! That would be truly awful. Let it never be. EVER. I'd like to imagine if I was a demon I'd still be very average, not nearly as bad as my title makes me out to be. I would like to see these images, but at the same time I don't know if I should. I like to think I'm a good person. :( I may have stepped on gnome once, but that doesn't make me a bad guy does it?
> 
> Remember be safe on the internet and have a great night!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!


	12. Journal Entry 12

Hello Journal.

Today started with a cup of earl gray, some delectable cinnamon strudel, and some reruns of 'Puffy: Hunter in the Night'. I've always admired Puffy, a young lady risking life and limb to protect her small town of Dreerieville from all manor of evil creatures. From the Werewolf Lord to the god, Blameus, she bested them all with her group of friends, and all while she's only in elementary school. What an inspiration!

I'm not much a fighter. I can't recall ever throwing a punch or anything like that. Personally I wouldn't want to be the chosen hunter, I can't handle violence too well. All that responsibility and I can only imagine the trauma it comes with. If Gravity Falls were ever in major danger I would try my best to protect it, but in hindsight I'm not much of a hero. If we all got together to protect it though, I'm sure we could do anything.

I met reader, Red, today at Greasy's. Such a nice kid. We went on about bread and baking for several hours before they had to go. It was nice meeting someone new.

After the meeting I found myself in the woods again. The scent of warm yeast rising in a brick oven sent a shiver down my spine and I just had to follow it. I wandered for hours, but it only got weaker as the sunset in the sky and I arrived home for the evening. It was disappointing that I couldn't find the source of such a delicious scent. Hopefully I can go looking for the source another time. 

So I looked myself up on the internet and I was surprised by what I found. Purple and blue squares with eyes, arms, and legs, but no mouth. A golden triangle with a top hat and bow-tie that looks oddly familiar. Also there was Mabel and Dipper Pines, sometimes me, and I couldn't help but feel a bit unnerved. I was informed by one of my readers that this square is me as a demon. I must say, squares are my favorite shape! I don't mind circles too many breads are rather round. It's weird seeing these images but I'm a-okay with it. Indeed many people on the internet are extremely talented and imaginative. Though I have to wonder why Mabel appears so often and some of them seem to depict us as being rather close. I wouldn't say we're on bad terms, but... we've only spoken a handful of times. Dipper seems to be with that triangle a lot. What does it mean?

Anyway, that's all for tonight.

Sweet dreams.

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s).
> 
> I hope your October is going well! It was great meeting reader, Red, today. Maybe I'll get to meet more of you in the future!
> 
> letters_creat_worlds, I looked up demon me as you suggested and it was quite the experience. That mystery smell is really intriguing and I swear I will get to bottom of it! I will send my extra Halloween vibes your way to ensure you have the best October possible! ;D
> 
> Hello new commenter(s), Dragonsjustice! I had no idea that dragons lived in the forests of Oregon let alone existed at all. You seem very friendly. I always have some baked goods on me so if we happen to cross paths I'll be sure to share some with you all. 
> 
> As always I hope you are all having a wonderful day! Be safe on the internet, demon me might be real and surfing it right now! Who knows what he could do with all your bread photos if he got a hold of them?!
> 
> Ask or comment if you have any questions or concerns!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!


	13. Journal Entry 13: We Don't Talk About It

Khb sxqb shdvdqwv!

Lw'v ph! 

Brx NQRZ zkr L dp.

L ehw brx'uh zrqghulqj zkdw'v jrlqj rq.

Dvvvvvvvooooooooooo R wlm'g uvvo orpv gvoormt blf.

Hlll ovg'h tvg wldm gl yfhrmvhh.

Lyerlfhob R'ev tlmv zmw szxpvw gsrh sviv qlfimzo... wrzib... gsrmt lu gszg oznv Gzw Hgizmtv qfhg yvxzfhv.

Szszsz!

Dqbzdb, brx suredeob zdqw wr nqrz zkdw L zdqw dqg zkhuh L'p jrlqj zlwk wklv.

W

R

R

E

D

G

!

Hl blfi fhfzo slhg rhm'g zezrozyov zg gsv nlnvmg.

Sv'oo yv yzxp, R'n mlg wlmv drgs srn bvg.

Sv'oo kilyzyob yv hl xlmufhvw dsvm sv hvvh gsrh gslfts zmw rg droo yv srozirlfh!

Dszg z hjfziv.

15 11-19-23-10, 15-11 23 5-7-3-23-6-19, 23 12-15-4-19-6-23-12 5-7-3-23-6-19.

Exw wkdw'v qrw lpsruwdqw.

Glg brx jxbv zdwfk wkh vkrz wrqljkw?

Fudcb uljkw!

Eloo.

Dszg z tfb.

Klli prwh wrwm'g vevm hvv rg xlnrmt.

R wrw.

R nvzm lu xlfihv **R WRW**.

Zdv wkhuh dqb grxew?

Dqbzkr, zkr khuh zdqwv wr vhh vrphwklqj pruh haflwlqj frph wr Judylwb Idoov?

L nqrz L gr!

Udlvh brxu kdqgv nlgv!

IZRHV GSVN!

Gsviv.

Blf sfnzmh zmw blfi dvriw uovhsb dzgvi yzth.

Tlg gl tl!

Grq'w zdqw wr nhhs pb shrsoh zdlwlqj.

Xqwlo qhaw wlph, L'oo eh zdwfklqj brx!

Uhphpehu uhdolwb lv uhodwlyh, wkh xqlyhuvh lv d vlpxodwlrq, exb vrxov!

EBH!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KEY  
> 4-CC  
> 4-AC  
> 8-CC  
> 4-AC  
> 1-CC-AC-ASC  
> 4-CC  
> 4-AC  
> 4-CC  
> 4-AC  
> 4-CC
> 
> Good luck! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahaHaHaHaahAhAhAAAAAAA!


	14. Journal Entry 14

Hello Journal.

As you are probably well aware my account was hacked on Monday and someone, I don't know who, uploaded a mysterious coded message. A kind reader, IncompetentPigeon, decoded the message, but still it remained as much a mystery to me as it did before. The hacker seems to not think too much of me. I was out all Monday, and I was actually planning to make it up to my dear readers today with an extra special entry, but this event has left a sour taste in my mouth.

Monday I was at a meeting with Mayor Tyler, the town council, and my gnome family to discuss the details of the newly officiated fair, the Bread, Wheat, and Mythical Beasts Festival (working title). It has been decided that it will take place on January 23rd. I'm so excited! Not to mention we will be building a bakery in Gravity Falls, the only problem being that we need someone to run it. Forget that silly hacker and his nonsensical message, let's get pumped!

In fact, let's just forget about Journal Entry 13. Let's never talk about it again and put it behind us.

Think positive! Halloween is only seventeen days away!

Seventeen!

I just can't wait to see all the kids in their cute little costumes with smiles on their faces. The decorations and the lanterns lighting each porch. Oh, I can smell the mounds of candy, pumpkin seeds, and bread already!

Actually that really is the scent of bread! Hold on while I investigate.

(About 15 minutes later)

So it seems like that mysterious bread smell is coming from the forest again. I really wanted to pursue it, but it's rather dark at the moment, and I was always told never to go into the woods at night. It seems to be getting stronger every time I come across it. I wonder who could be behind it? Or what?

Maybe some evil creature is trying to lure me into the woods with the intention of eating me? Or it could be a little girl on her way to grandma's house? Or it's the gnomes? I asked Jeff before and he said it wasn't them. He did catch the scent on more than one occasion, and was disappointed he could not find the source himself.

Today was calm, I had tea and crumpets with Marston, Sybil, and Jeff in the garden while we talked about my days in high school. I feel I may have embarrassed Sybil with one of my stories... if she can get embarrassed. It was pleasant, just sitting down with them as a family.

That's all for now.

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s)!
> 
> I'm sorry I could not reply to your comments on the 12th entry sooner. This whole thing that we're never going to talk about again has set me on edge.
> 
> Hello again Red. I do hope you can one day visit Gravity Falls again. Night Vale sounds interesting. Good luck with your studies.
> 
> letters_creat_worlds, what do you think the 'square' means? Do you know who may be behind Journal Entry 13? 
> 
> IncompetentPigeon, thank you again for deciphering the code. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. I can't say I would have a good time trying to do it myself.
> 
> Wow 14 entries already. I've been thinking. Maybe I should join tumblr, just to be safe and so I can talk to you all more directly. What do you guys think?
> 
> Until next time!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!


	15. Journal Entry 15

Hello Journal!

This morning it was still dark outside when my alarm went off. I started the day with a fresh glass of orange juice and a warm plate of chocolate croissants. It wasn't until the first light was just peeking over the horizon that I set out to work.

You know, I don't think I've mentioned my job much. To be honest it isn't all that interesting. I sit at a desk, staring at small words on a bright screen, clicking away until I take my fifteen minute lunch break. Every now again I'd hear the birds singing outside and it would bring a smile to my face. It's not a bad job per-se I just don't feel the need to divulge in the details. I'm sure it'd just bore you to tears.

The mysterious bread smell returned. I'm sure I'm getting closer to finding to source. Every time I come across it it's gotten stronger, it's almost like the bread is right in front of me, I just can't see it. It's extremely frustrating not being able to find the undoubtedly delectable source. I won't give up, regardless of the intentions of its maker.

I saw a giant bird in the sky today, or at least what appeared to be a giant bird. One can only imagine how something that big could go unnoticed at all. Perhaps my eyes were playing a trick on me. Things have gotten strange as of late. 

That will be it for today.

Goodnight Journal!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s)!
> 
> How are you holding up?
> 
> Hello again letters_creat_worlds! I hope the source is friendly too. I can't imagine someone that likes bread being a bad person. War? What war? There's a war!? Are you safe? D: Please be safe.
> 
> DragonsJustice, of course you're invited to the festival. Everyone is! All of my readers are invited. Please do come by if you can.
> 
> Hello the Traveller! It's nice to meet you. So this Bill is a dream demon and is probably the one who hacked my account? That doesn't sound good. If he's as dangerous as you say I don't think I want to meet him anywhere let alone in my dreams. I'll be sure not to make any deals with him, even if there's bread involved. If the source of the bread smell is malevolent I'll be very sad, but I will approach with caution. Thank you for your warnings, hopefully nothing bad will happen this month at least. It would be horrible if something happened on Halloween.
> 
> I will likely join tumblr within the next few weeks. I'll let you know what my username will be since I've checked and it seems as though my name has already been claimed. That might get confusing...
> 
> I hope you are all doing well.
> 
> I look forward to writing again next week.
> 
> Have a spectacular weekend!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!


	16. Journal Entry 16

Hello Journal.

Today I finally found the source of that mysterious bread smell. It has been about two weeks or so since I first came across it, roaming every other day in search of its origin. It started as it did with the other encounters. I was on the edge of the Gravity Falls forest when the scent ensnared my senses and I gave chase.

I wandered at a fast pace, the aroma growing stronger with each step, and I was overcome with this feeling that today had to be it. The day I find that ever elusive source. I spent about an hour of searching when I arrived at a small clearing. In the center stood this peculiar little cottage with smoke billowing out of its chimney. My eyes went wide as I took it in and its lofty majesty.

It was completely made of bread.

The shingles were made of individual slices of wheat, columns were built from large french rolls, and even the stone steps leading up to the porch were made of various rolls and buns. My mouth was practically watering when I finally made my way towards the door made of pure pumpernickel, save for the bagel knob and croissant doorknocker.

When I placed my hand on door I could tell it was all real despite the fact I knew it was physically impossible for a structure so large, and out in the elements to remain standing as it did. It had to be magic. A magic cottage made of bread. As you can imagine I was so jubilant I had thrown all caution to the wind.

I called out, asking if anyone was home, but no one answered. I wandered around the outside of the building after knocking on the door as best I could (since it was made of bread). It was about an hour before I noticed the sun was hanging low, and I unfortunately had to leave the bread cottage.

It's almost surreal to think that houses made of food actually exist. It sort of reminds me of that frightening fairytale of the two children who got lost in the woods until they came across a house made of candy. The house was owned by a witch who tried to eat them unfortunately, but I think they got away. I wonder if the bread cottage is also owned by a witch, if she or he eats kids, or if what I saw today was even really there.

Oh well, I suppose if I find that house again, I can look for the owner, and ask them myself. I guess you could even say it was a wonderful and productive day. That's one mystery solved along with several new ones that need to be answered. I'm sure Dipper would just love to hear all about it. Actually I'm sure the gnomes would be interested as well. I'll be having tea with them again this week so I suppose I'll inform them then.

What an momentous day!

I hope you are all doing well. It's time to start pulling out those hand-knitted sweaters!!! (Mabel knitted me one with bread on it :D)

Goodnight Journal!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s).
> 
> Can you believe I finally found the source of the bread smell! Should I be worried? I wish I could have taken a picture to show you all, but I unfortunately forgot my camera and phone at home.
> 
> letters_creat_worlds, I do like my job, it's nice and consistent. I think Soos has explained 'ships' to me before, like peanut butter and jam. I'm not sure how shipping wars work however. Billdip? Is this hacker Bill guy and someone else? Dip? Dipper? No, can't be. I'm glad you aren't hurt. Please stay safe.
> 
> Traveller it is then. :) I have no idea who this Bill fellow is, but I just hope he doesn't hack my account again. I'm glad you enjoy reading my entries.
> 
> So I joined tumblr. I don't have any entries as of yet. Maybe I will post within the next few days. Just look for averagetadstrange and I should be the only result. Follow me if you're interested, you certainly aren't obligated to. It's just something fun I'd like to try.
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!


	17. Journal Entry 17

Hello Journal!

Yesterday I signed up on tumblr! I haven't fully grasped it yet, but I think I'm getting the hang of it. There seems to be a large and lively community there so I hope I can make some new friends just as I have here.

Today, I found the bread cottage just as I did on Monday and guess who I finally got to meet... The mysterious owner! I was following the scent through the forest and I was almost there when I heard a voice call out to me. I turned and to my utter surprise there stood a young woman with chestnut curls and bright green eyes that radiated with a gentle light. She was wearing a floral light green dress with a cream lace hemming, and a white apron dusted with flour. She smiled at me and I knew almost instantly she had to be the baker; the one behind the scent that has vexed me this past month.

Her name is Chloe (what a lovely name) and she invited me over for homemade sandwiches and herbal tea. It was strange entering the small cottage for the first time, the scent alone almost made me faint from happiness as everything, down to every bolt and nail, was indeed made of all forms of baked goods. 

She is so kind. We talked for hours about baking, everything, and nothing. Every word she spoke was entrancing and I found that for the first time in my life I was more interested in what she had to say about trivial things than all the wondrous bread around me.

We talked and ate until the sky had melted into warm hue. It was almost painful to leave so soon and we parted ways with the promise of meeting again tomorrow at the lake for more of her delicious sandwiches. I actually can't remember how many I had today or what kind they were, only that they were exquisite. Normally this would dishearten me, but today I don't mind.

I had such a great time today I almost completely forgot that she might be some sort of witch. Chloe doesn't seem like a bad person, in fact I can't wait to see her again tomorrow! I know I should be careful, but when she smiles her dimples accentuate the cute little freckles on her cheeks and I forget what a baster is.

It's probably safe to say I've found a new friend! And she bakes! She lives in a house made of bread! I really don't know what I'd do if she turns out to be a man-eating fox or some sort of sentient glowing cloud. I really want this to turnout well.

My heart is still filled with fluttering wings. How am I suppose to go to sleep like this? Wheat bread. I need wheat bread!

I'll ask the gnomes if there are small fairies in the forest that can get lodged in your lungs.

Until next time.

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s)!
> 
> I can't believe I finally met the mysterious baker. Chloe! I can't stop smiling. I think my facial muscles might break if this continues. 
> 
> DragonsJustice, I promise I will bring you all bread! Cinnamon right? You don't have to worry, she seems so gentle but the worry is appreciated. I never thought of my name as dragon-like. I am honored. 
> 
> Hello again, IncompetentPigeon. It would have been rude of me to just start eating someone else's home! I was really tempted, it was difficult, but I did not take a single bite! I think that's a swell idea! I'll ask her tomorrow to see if she's interested. I think I will listen to BABBA, regardless. Disco Girl coming through! That girl is YOU! Oooh~oooh! Oooh~oooh!
> 
> Traveller, I don't believe I will need to push anyone in an oven. Actually even if I did I wouldn't, that's horrible to do to anyone even if they do want to eat you. For Halloween I was thinking I should be a toaster. Not just any toaster the most courageous of them all! Tiny Toaster Timmy!
> 
> letters_creat_worlds, It was lovely. I saw so many kinds of bread I could hardly take it all in. I don't feel like Chloe will be eating me anytime soon. Tumblr is a bit confusing so I hope I can count on you all to give me your support! ;)
> 
> Hey there cuzicouldyay! It was amazing! I too wonder what it's like to live there. Does she have to worry about animals trying to eat her home? Does she have to re-bake it every week? What about rain and snow fall? I hope your week is wonderful as well!
> 
> I see that some of you have followed me to tumblr. I'm sorry I haven't been on there much. Still getting the hang of it!
> 
> What do you guys think of Chloe? I can't imagine her trying to bake me or anything (I wouldn't taste good anyway). Should I be worried that this will end up like Hänsel and Gretel?
> 
> I had such a wonderful time today. I hope tomorrow goes just as well. Have a great day everyone! I'll let you guys know how it goes.
> 
> Until then,
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s).


	18. Journal Entry 18

Hello Journal.

Yesterday was just splendid! Me and Chloe spent several hours together, eating her scrumptious sandwiches and talking about her recent move to Gravity Falls. She explained to me that her home is indeed made using magic, bread, and lots of love. ;D She also told me that though she is technically a witch she doesn't quite identify as one, she's a human who uses magic and that's fine by me.

The sandwiches consisted of several different varieties including classics like the PB&J, BLT, bosna, Cuban, egg salad, parisien, and others. Now that I think about it she brought enough to feed all the gnomes and between the two of us we ate it all! I wonder where it all went...

After we ate we took a stroll through the forest and talked about the weather. It was quite lovely, we harmonized in a way I don't think I ever have with anyone else before. My heart flutters ever time I look into her eyes (so large and beautiful), or hear her laugh (it reminds me of a bird), or see her smile (those gorgeous teeth). I can't stop thinking about her!

We wandered the forest until we reached her cottage and before I left to return home she gave me a kiss on the cheek. My cheek still feels hot whenever I think about it.

Is this... love? I've never felt like this before! I'm not so sure.

We plan to meet again this weekend. She wants me to try her other sandwiches and I'm looking forward to tasting them.

Today I met with Jeff and I told him about Chloe. He warned me to be cautious, my readers have too and I know I should be, but I can't help but let my guard down around her. The family plans to stakeout her place in the event she turns out to be malicious. I can't help feeling that this is a bit invasive. It's better to be safe I suppose. 

Maybe I should consult with Dipper? He seems busy lately though, so maybe not...

I'm sure things will turnout just fine. They usually do!

Halloween is next week! I'm so excited! I just can't wait to see those trick r' treaters come down my road and see the decorations I've put up. Oh, it will surely captivate their impressionable minds!

That is all for now.

I really do want things to go smoothly.

Goodnight Journal!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s)!
> 
> What do you think? Am I falling in love? I honestly don't know. I'd say it's like going up hill on one of those thrill coasters at the amusement park. I haven't dated in so long it's as if I haven't dated at all! Oh high school... Never again.
> 
> Traveller, what do mean by Mabel's plans? Is she throwing a Halloween party? The Pines' always throw great parties but I usually am unable to attend. It may be love or it could be curiosity. I will do my best to be cautious. Glowing sentient clouds are no laughing matter. They haunt my nightmares! I'm aware of the elder Pines' twins. Ford is a very interesting fellow. I remember when he returned from his trip he gave me this weird look and started muttering under is breath. At first I thought he didn't like me, but after that we did hangout rather often. By incident do you mean how he got stranded on an island in the middle of the ocean for thirty years? I heard it was rough on him but I'm glad he's back. I never met him before so it was kind of confusing at first. I've gotten used to it though.
> 
> HALLOWEEN IS NEXT WEEK! I'm really excited! I honestly can't wait!
> 
> Prepare the candy! Carve those pumpkins! It's the best day of the year!
> 
> I know I've mentioned before, here in Gravity Falls we love Halloween more than most, (because it's the truth) but I don't think I mentioned the all day events we hold. It's somewhat like a festival. Since it's on the weekend this year we will be celebrating both Saturday and Sunday! Oh how I've missed the pumpkin-men building contest!
> 
> I wish you all could join us.
> 
> Have a great weekend everyone! Be safe!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!


	19. Journal Enry 19

Hello Journal.

This weekend I spent more time with Chloe. I tasted more of her sandwiches, she even hand-fed me some. Her smile grew wider with each one I tried and thoroughly enjoyed. I can't recall how many I had and I even forgot what types there were! How unlike me! Maybe her sandwiches are just so good that when I try to remember I can't recall the exact taste. It's as though my senses escaped me and I'm was overcome with the desire to eat more rather than to take my time and enjoy them.

She seemed a bit... distracted at times which worried me. I asked her what was wrong, but she insisted that she was fine and that she was probably just seeing things. I wonder what she thought she saw?

I wonder if she is aware of what's in Gravity Falls? I'm not even sure what we have here! My neighbors could be alien chicken mutant zombies from some hell dimension! Hahaha, like that would ever be the case.

When we were about to part she asked if I was interested in dating her and when I replied yes she kissed me on the lips. I have the heavy feeling in my chest that is so persistent that it's making me uneasy. Maybe I'm getting nervous since it's been so long.

So today after work I went to meet with contractors who will be working on the bakery. Mr. Corduroy even volunteered to help build it with his family. How sweet! It seems like I'm not the only one looking forward to its construction! I can't wait. :D

I know I mentioned Halloween being this Saturday already. However I was thinking about what movie I should watch and I've decided on the classic Cadaver Groom. It always brings me to tears and the songs are so catchy!

Before I go to sleep I think I will have a good ol' slice of white bread. Just plain white bread. I've been craving it for the past few days and I thought why not indulge a little.

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s)!
> 
> Do you have any Halloween themed movies to recommend to me? I don't usually watch horror since I'm normally on my own, but Chloe will be over on Thursday to watch some with me. She seems like the brave type, maybe I can cling to her arm during the more frightening scenes! Oh, but I do prefer the more lighthearted movies!
> 
> letters_creat_worlds, she is lovely and I wouldn't say it was a date... Was it really a date? I guess when I think about it, it really was a date! My goodness now I can't stop blushing! I've tried to get in-touch with him but I can't seem to catch him at the right moment. He must be busy, because of that whole ghostly veil thing that happens around this time of year.
> 
> Mabel is quite enthusiastic when it comes to romance Traveller. I'd best give her the details so she doesn't feel left out of the loop. Though I'm sure the grapevine has already reached her ears. Gossip spreads like wildfire here. Oh okay. I just find formless things a bit unsettling.
> 
> Dear IncompetentPigeon, she is sweet. I think I can say she does like me. Chloe would be delighted to make treats for the children! She said nothing would make her happier. I'd have to disagree with about Halloween coming second though. First comes Halloween, then Summerween, and then Christmas.
> 
> Thanks you for your wonderful and positive feedback! As always you are all more than welcome to ask questions or simply just say hello. :D Hello! How do you do? Are you a bread enthusiast?
> 
> Have a great week everyone and stay safe!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s).


	20. Journal Entry 20

Hello Journal.

I was quite sick today. My fever was above 100 degrees Fahrenheit! I'm feeling a little bit better now. Jeff brought over some sort of special gnomish healing tea that carried the scent of a cool misty morning amidst the freshly fallen snow peppered across the side of a small mountain. It was an odd teal color with what looked to me to be glitter-like specs as well as blue petals that evoked this feeling of oneness with the rest of the universe. It was exquisite! I felt much better after taking it.

Chloe wanted to visit me, she assured me she couldn't catch anything and that she only wished to nurse me back to health so that we could eat together again, but I insisted she stay away for the time being until I recover. I feel a bit guilty, but I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I ruined her first Halloween in Gravity Falls by making her sick.

That tea really helped. My fever is gone and my headache has been reduced considerably. I feel that I can go on that date tomorrow with no worries whatsoever. I'll have to repay the boys somehow. 

Halloween is just around the corner! My costume is complete and I set out the decorations yesterday, so I'm completely and irrevocably ready to face the greatest night of the year.

I should get some rest for that date tomorrow.

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s).
> 
> I'm not sure how I caught a cold. It's not like I've come in contact with anyone who is sick.
> 
> Hello DragonsJustice. Don't worry, I never stay out after dark. The farthest I will go is my porch to hand candy to the adorable trick r' treaters. Chloe is unlike anyone I've met before. I'm glad you think so.
> 
> Dear letters_creat_worlds, I will be careful, I only just met her after all. Nightmare Before Christmas? I wonder if that's an alternate title for the Bad Dream on Christmas Eve? I'll be sure to look for it. ;D
> 
> IncompetentPigeon, I'll try asking her tomorrow during our date since I could not do so today. I hope it's nothing too ominous. I do love British movies. I'll be sure to check them out! Ghostbusters? Is that like Ghost Harassers? But a movie? I'll check that out too!
> 
> I'd best be off to bed then my dear reader(s). Have a great Halloween and sweet dreams!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!


	21. Journal Entry 21: Halloween

Hello Journal.

I'm sorry I did not write last Friday. 

Thursday Chloe and I broke up. As you can imagine I was a bit distraught over what happened. I needed time to think about it and cool my head. Celebrating Halloween really helped me. I'm ready to share the events of last Thursday with you.

That morning started precisely at five, my alarm chirped in my ear as my eyes eased open, and I blinked away the heavy feeling of drowsiness. I rose and stretched my muscles with a deep yawn. It wasn't long before I had brushed my teeth, showered, changed into my work clothes, and ate pancakes with maple syrup, strawberries, and a sliver of mint. A smile was on my face, thoughts of the night to come on my mind as I listened to the blue birds outside my window seemingly to bicker over something I was unable to understand.

As the sun rose over the trees I began my day's work, humming a catchy pop tune until all my work was completed. Not a minute after I was on my way to Chloe's Bread Cottage, long and fast strides could not carry me fast enough to my destination, and my heart was once again filled with butterflies. 

However, while traversing the woods I heard my name being called by a familiar voice. It was Jeff and the entirety of my extended gnome family (save for Marston), all out of breath and clustered into the form of a giant person holding a large old book. Jeff, acting as the face of the cluster looked down on me as the hand of the group held out the book. He told me it was absolutely crucial that I read it, that my livelihood and life depended on it. When I asked about the book he simply said that it came from Chloe's cottage, that when they had been investigating the building they found it hidden behind a loose Belgian waffle window that was on an inner wall.

The look in their eyes, the expressions on their faces, and the unease the seemed to drench the air and weigh me down told me that it was not the time to wonder. Wonder why they had broken into her home. Wonder what was in that book. Wonder where Chloe was. It was time to open my eyes, truly widen my gaze and see the truth.

The book was a mixture of a spell book and Chloe's personal journal. I hesitated to open it upon first laying my fingers across its cover, leather of an odd shade of beige with purple and green bruises. Bile seemed to find its way up my throat even before the sickly sweet scent of the book invaded my nostrils. My chest was filled with violent butterflies, struggling to push their way up and out of my mouth. A new sense of clarity overcame me, long before I placed my eyes upon the first word.

Chloe was not what I thought she was. The Chloe I knew, the one I thought I liked was a lie. A trick. An illusion. And I had fallen into it eagerly.

Within the pages, as intrusive as it was to read them, were Chloe's true feelings. Our initial worries were true. She approached me with every intention of eating me. Her sandwiches had been enchanted to be as addictive and fattening as possible, tailored to my exact tastes, to keep me hooked, while also casting some sort of charm to make me fall in love with her. In the latest entries she had expressed her overwhelming feeling of frustration. While most of her spells had worked on me, I didn't seem to be getting fatter, which displeased her. She even noted that I appeared to be losing weight.

The final entry revealed that she was planning to put an end to her game, and just eat me as is before moving on to her next target. In her own written words "a particularly plump man with a great love for any food."

I could not believe what I was reading and yet another part of me expected it somehow. It was as though I knew the signs, those days where my meals with her were a haze and the taste even more so. Never before had I neglected tasting the bread before me. Never before had I forgotten the texture of a homemade baked good! I believe they also made me sick.

To be honest I was more ashamed with myself than I was upset with my circumstances, and now I have potentially put another person in danger as well as myself.

I had to stop Chloe somehow, but first I had to break up with her.

I made my way to her cottage, book in hand, and as stern a look as I could muster. When she answered the door her face was one of pure joy and for the briefest moment I was pulled back into her charm. Then her mask broke as her gaze reached the journal in my hands and morphed into an expression of true fury. 

Her eyes seemed to turn black as she pointed at me, demanding to know how I got a hold of her book. I did not tell her about Jeff and the others, but instead stood my ground. She was reasonably angry that her house had been broken into, her privacy invaded, and property stolen. After shouting for quite some time she seemed to cool down. Her face was still red when she finally took the time to look at me. She asked me if I read the book. I told her the truth and this seemed to confuse her. She then asked me why I came over instead of doing the sensible thing and running away. Again I told her the truth. 

I wanted to properly break things off with her and tell her to leave Gravity Falls alone. She laughed at that, told me how foolish I was. I mustered up my courage and gave her a piece of my mind. Our relationship was unhealthy as it was, I was using her to eat more sandwiches and bread and she intended to use me for food. I told her I wasn't mad about her trying to eat me but rather that she lied about being a bread enthusiast and manipulated my feelings. I cannot be with someone who doesn't truly love bread and would use it so cruelly to try and take advantage of others. We just couldn't work with a relationship like that. To abuse her power of bread for evil! It was just something I could not forgive! I too was to blame for not seeing through it sooner.

Her face went through so many expressions before she spoke that I wasn't sure what to expect. She then glared at me and mumbled under her breath. With a snap of her fingers her cottage of bread was gone, the majesty of something so great vanished in an instant.

I will not lie. 

I cried.

I cried quite a bit. 

Chloe left Gravity Falls without another word, leaving only the lingering scent of freshly baked bread. The memories we shared may have a dark shadow cast over them, but they will always be special in my heart...

Halloween was a grand venture! The festival in town was as spectacular as last year's. My fellow residents of Gravity Falls went about town in their fantastic costumes! I, as you may or may not know, was Tiny Toaster Timmy! The adventurous and brave little toaster whose epic quest only ends when the toast is plated! I attended the day-time festivities alongside Toby and Mayor Tyler. The gnomes even came to town dressed as a group of teenagers. What a hoot! 

Susan baked some delicious pumpkin pies and the apple bobbing contest was beyond exhilarating. I even spotted Mabel and Dipper in their matching costumes, but couldn't catch up with them or the Stans. They seemed really cheerful, I'm glad.

As the sun began to set I went home to hand out candy and pretzels to the neighborhood kids. It was nice just sitting on my porch, watching the sky change, the families gleefully making their way from house to house, and the eerie lights of lanterns as they were lighten. I felt as though a tension I was holding in for the past few weeks had finally been released. I could have sworn I saw something large fly by in the distance when the sun finally drifted below the horizon.

Halloween was great!

Despite what happened Thursday I can't stop smiling. Perhaps I just wasn't ready to dive headlong into a relationship. Next time I should perhaps think before I act.

Once again I'm sorry for not writing sooner. 

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s).
> 
> I'm so sorry for not posting Friday. I was... a bit down after Thursday. I guess our suspicions of the 'sand-witch' were correct. Oh well, I guess it just wasn't meant to be.
> 
> Halloween was amazing! I had so much fun at the weekend fair. How was it for you guys? How much candy did you eat? Be honest! I had so much I can scarcely move! An odd thing happened today. I could have sworn that I did not, myself toast my bread, it was done before I woke up. How odd! Maybe Marston and the boys stopped by and made it for me? How nice of them!
> 
> Hello letters_creat_worlds! I was indeed sick. I think it may have been because of the sandwiches. They weren't 'natural' as Jeff put it from what he read in Chloe's journal. I was Tiny Toaster Timmy for Halloween! It was a bit difficult to maneuver in but fun all the same!
> 
> I guess that's all for now. Let me know how your Halloween went!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!


	22. Journal Entry 22

Hello Journal.

I've received so much support since the breakup. My dear readers spoil me with reassuring words and the gnomes have stopped by each day to keep me company.

Oh how I wish I could bake you all a good pecan pie! Sadly as you may well already know, I am not good at baking.

Today started out normal but then something odd occurred. I could have sworn I hadn't placed my bread in the toaster and yet when I entered the kitchen this morning it was already on a plate, freshly toasted. Isn't that weird? It happened yesterday too and the day before that. Bread, I could have sworn I had yet to touch, pre-toasted. It's not like I don't enjoy toast, the opposite is true, but I like to switch it up a little. Jalapeno cheese bread one day and then a carrot loaf the next! 

Who is toasting my bread?!

Could it be a ghost?

I can't recall ever having met a ghost before. I wonder if they've been here long or if they are just passing through? Though if it isn't a ghost it could be the gnomes, trying to something nice for me again, but somehow I doubt they would go that far.

I wouldn't mind sharing my home with a friendly ghost. Oh, what if they were making toast for themselves but then I ate it?! How rude of me! To eat another bread enthusiast's toast without their permission is to rip out their heart and eat it! The worst of insults! I'm so ashamed! Please, find it in your heart to forgive me Toast Ghost!

Oh well.

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s)!
> 
> I got so many comments from my last entry! I'm glad you're all worried about me, I'm doing fine now that the spells seem to be out of my system. It's not like we were together very long or anything so my heart is fine. Please don't attack Chloe, I'm sure she was just doing what she needed to do. I have no idea why she needs to eat people though... She could be cursed or something to eat human flesh. I'm not saying what she did was okay, it was far from okay, but I'm not mad.
> 
> Dragonsjustice, I'm happy that you are so concerned about my well-being, but please don't be mad at her. What she did wasn't good, but I don't think getting angry will solve anything. I'm already over the whole thing. Please find a place in your heart, not to forgive her, but to... let her go without any grudges. Grudges just follow you everywhere and drag you down into a dark place.
> 
> letters_creat_worlds, I would love a virtual hug! *HUG* I'm also glad that it was simple and clean. You are, all of you, the precious ones! How was your Halloween?
> 
> Hello Traveller, Mabel and Dipper moved to Gravity Falls. Dipper in his great-uncle's understudy and Mabel has her friends Candy and Grenda, that and Waddles(I don't know how he would feel moving to Piedmont if he could). Their parents were against it at first, especially after the things that happened, but the twins can be difficult to say no to when they work together. It seems like I've seen a lot of weird and extraordinary things as of late. 
> 
> Greetings anonymous! Thank you for your concern and I am having a splendid time! I don't know what you mean by 'episodes'. The only thing that comes to mind is Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained which he posts regularly. Is that what you mean? Or Mabel's Guide to... well many things? Or Fixin' it with Soos? Those are the only vlogs I can think of at the moment. My entries are in chronological order.
> 
> Welcome ineffablye! What a wonderful suggestion! I will look into those charms in a snap! I've already met a reader in the past. You are all welcome to visit Gravity Falls whenever you wish! Just be safe when you do so. The Bread Festival is in January and you are all invited! Please do come! :D
> 
> Hi cuzicouldyay, your Halloween sounds like so much fun! Sadly I have never really carved a pumpkin. As you can imagine I am as clumsy with a knife as I am with any other kitchen utensil. When I was young I was invited over to a friend's carve pumpkins and let me tell you, I was not allowed to hold a knife for months after that, not even a butter knife! I could not butter my toast! It was a... difficult time for me. I've gotten better though! I will wish you the best as well. :)


	23. Journal Entry 23

Hello Journal!

Last night I had the most peculiar dream. I was in my house, however all the furniture was bigger, everything was bigger (or maybe I was smaller). I was on top of the kitchen counter taking in my surroundings when this overwhelming feeling overcame me. I had to get warm. And the only way to do that was (what I thought to be logical at the time) to get inside the toaster. I could only think about becoming toast!

My body felt light yet my limbs refuse to move and I was forced to roll (or was it flip) to my destination. After some time passed I finally arrived at my toaster! Alas there was another problem! I could not climb the tall slippery sides since my limbs were all but non-existent. Then I realized that I could move myself at an cellular level and used that create suction on the four corners of my form! At last I was in the toaster and all was right with the world.

I must say it was certainly... an experience. I wonder what it could mean though.

This morning I found another slice of toast, already on a plate. Of course I immediately buttered its blackened form. Though, I hesitated to eat it. It could be a ghost. This toast wasn't mine to take. Yet I can't imagine a bread enthusiast, even a dead one, abandoning perfectly good toast on the counter time and time again! Maybe the ghost is not capable of eating? If this is indeed a ghost.

I decided to leave it, alone, for about ten minutes and if the ghost or invisible toast-making being from an alternate universe didn't touch it within that time I would eat it for them.

Ten minutes passed. Nothing happened.

I ate the toast.

What is going on? Is it bad? Is it good? Is it anything at all? Am I sleepwalking?

The world may never know.

Time to buy cameras and set them up around my house while I sleep!

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s)!
> 
> If it turns out to be a ghost who do I call? Do I call someone? What if it isn't a ghost?
> 
> Hey Traveller! You should really pay another visit! Maybe come to the bread festival? Something weird? I kept having weird dreams, can't really recall what they were about though. Does that count?
> 
> Dragonsjustice, do you want a hug? I know this sounds shady but they are completely free.
> 
> Hello cuzicouldyay, leaving offerings sounds like a splendid idea! I will try that! You have a wonderful day yourself! :)
> 
> Hi letters_creat_worlds! Movies and marshmallows! Ooh, that sounds delightful! The wondrous mystery of a toast ghost is like a double-edged sword. It could be great or could be less so. I wonder if it really is a ghost though. Wouldn't there be other things going bump in the night? Like noises or movement out of the corner of my eyes. I've never met a ghost before! Can't say I'm not excited.
> 
> Now to call the Soos for some camera and tech help! He's so reliable! They sing songs about him!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!


	24. Journal Entry 24: Banana Loaf with Pecans

Hello Journal.

So I only just now noticed we've long passed the twentieth journal entry and I feel it's time for another special recipe!

And before you ask, yes, the toast was made again this morning. Sadly I caught nothing on the cameras, because I forgot to turn them on!

So today's recipe is for banana bread with pecans! Like last time this is not my own personal recipe, but something I found on the internet. If you are allergic to pecans feel free to just make regular banana bread.

Ingredients: 2 cups of flour, 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda, 1/2 teaspoon of salt, 4 overripe bananas, 1 cup of sugar, 3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) of butter, 2 large eggs, 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup pecans (finely chopped), and Confectioners' sugar, for dusting.

STEP 1: Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit, gingerly grease your loaf pan of choosing.

STEP 2: In a relatively large bowl mix the flour, baking soda, and salt.

STEP 3: Completely destroy two bananas until they are nothing but lumpy mush, preferably with a fork and inside a smaller bowl than before. You have no idea how important it is that this bowl be smaller!

STEP 4: With an electronic mixer whip those other two bananas and sugar together for about one-hundred and eighty seconds until nice and creamy. This requires a third bowl.

STEP 5: Add the butter, eggs, and vanilla then beat them, preferably not with your fists unless you really want to.

STEP 6: Mix in dry ingredients, be careful not to go too far our the bread mix may explode.

STEP 7: Fold in those pecans and mashed bananas with a rubber spatula.

STEP 8: Pour the batter into the pan, rap to it so it moves to your sick beats and get those air bubbles out.

STEP 9: Bake for about one hour and fifteen minutes, until it is nice wheat like shade of golden brown.

STEP 10: Relax, read that book you've been neglecting to read, and wait with the patience of a saintly toad. You may want to rotate the pan every now and again to ensure an even baking.

STEP 11: Let the bread cool for about 10 minutes, grab those sunglasses and strikes some gnarly poses. Let it cool even more on a wire rack, take a selfie, feel that inner light of achievement.

STEP 12: Dust lightly with that special dusty sugar, slice, and serve, enjoy, you've earned this.

STEP 13: Step twelve was the last step. Forget this step. It just doesn't exist.

STEP 14: Check that oven one last time. I know you've checked five times already, but it's best to be safe than watch your whole life burn away in a great blaze.

I hope you all will enjoy this recipe! Maybe we can have it at the festival in January? Speaking of the festival the construction of the bakery is going rather smoothly! Still not baker yet, but I do hope that will change soon.

As for the toasting ghost, the mystery is still being investigated. I will try putting out milk and and cookies in the case it is a brownie like reader, ineffablye, suggested.

If I'm sleepwalking though this could be bad. What if I have a dream that I'm actually good at baking and I burn the house down in my sleep! Never again!

I dreamt I was toasted again. It was very much the same as before so I will not recount it.

That will be all for tonight! Please try the recipe if you can!

Goodnight Journal!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s).
> 
> I wonder if the cameras will help once I figure out how to use them. Is it a ghost, a brownie, an invisible gorilla from the ninth planet? Or worst of all am I sleepwalking! 
> 
> Dragonsjustice! PREPARE THY SELF FOR THE GREATEST MOST ULTIMATE VIRTUAL HUG I HAVE EVER HAD THE PLEASURE OF GIVING TO ANOTHER LIVING BEING! *hug* 
> 
> letters_creat_worlds, nothing is more random than the moments that bring us all together. I am always asleep before finding the toast! It could be that I'm sleepwalking! I find this thought extremely terrifying. 
> 
> Traveller, what hasn't happened? Is it aliens? I would like to meet an alien just once! Bread simulator?! Sounds like the greatest game ever made! Where can I find this bread simulator?
> 
> ineffablye, that dream sounds quite odd indeed! I will try your suggestion and set out some treats. Do you think cameras will offend them if it is a brownie? I asked Jeff but he has no idea who or what is doing it.
> 
> Hopefully those cameras will shed some light on the mystery at hand!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!


	25. Journal Entry 25

Hello Journal.

With this morning came more toast. I unplugged the toaster and yet there it was. On counter. Plated. Fresh. Toast.

I stared at it for quite sometime before I ate it. The toaster was still unplugged, cold, and yet the toast was warm, fresh. Dear journal HOW! What did they use to toast it? The oven wasn't on either! The microwave? No, it wouldn't be the same.

It was cute at first, getting toast every morning, it was nice. Now it's just... disturbing? No. It's more... distressing! 

WHY?!

I want to know why! Not knowing is so unsettling! Not having the capability to return the favor is frustrating!

The cookies and milk remained untouched! The cameras caught NOTHING! Their is a minute of missing footage on the camera in the kitchen. No evidence of someone entering my home, no signs of a brownie. No signs of a ghost. I did not leave my room at all and that is the only good news! The rest isn't bad news however... 

Normally this sort of thing wouldn't bother me. It's just I feel I'm only receiving and not giving and it doesn't sit well with me!

My dreams are plagued with ventures to the toaster, the desire to become toast too strong to resist!

Am I going crazy? Is the toast real? AM I REAL?

The time has come for a stakeout!

I will catch you toast-maker! I will catch you and force you to accept my thanks and gratitude! AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!

Oh my! What has gotten into me? I feel... irritable and... spontaneous! Am I sick again!

I keep yelling!

Shouting!

Exclaiming!

I must calm down!

Deep breaths Tad!

IN AND OUT!

IN AND OUT!

In.

And.

Out.

That's much better.

Now that I've calmed down a bit I know that I am, in fact, real.

I must apologize for my erratic and uncharacteristic behavior.

It's just I feel like I'm not getting any rest when I'm sleeping.

Could my lack of rest be in anyway related to the toast-maker?

If I sleep somewhere else would I still get toast?

Oh that might help me sleep better too!

It's too dark to go out now though.

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s).
> 
> I'm sorry for my odd demeanor, it's all over the place today. Where should I go to sleep instead of my house? Maybe I can visit Sybil and Marston! Oh but I don't want to trouble the young lovebirds! 
> 
> Hello DragonsJustice! Mirrors? I only have the one in the bathroom so there shouldn't be any trouble there. I am always willing and able to give out a hug. :D
> 
> Hi cuzicouldyay! I'm glad you like the recipe! Thank you for the luck. You have a lovely day yourself!
> 
> Can't say I've ever heard of Steam, Traveller. I'll have to look it up. What do you mean other Gravity Falls? Is this an alternate time-line thing? Are... are you a time-traveling agent?!
> 
> Hey letters_creat_worlds! You are very welcome! Take your time, it can be difficult to set time aside to bake a good loaf of bread. Very, very difficult... Me and sleepwalking have a bad history. A friendly ghost WOULD be nice. XD
> 
> Hello again Red, it's been awhile! Hahaha, you are such a kidder! Such a great sense of humor! :P
> 
> Today's entry was the 25th Journal Entry! One fourth a hundred! So exciting! Should I do something special next time or wait for entry 30? Have a great night!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!


	26. Journal Entry 26

Hello Journal.

Last night I was lucky enough to have the Ramirez family invite me to their lovely home! It was nice, Soos let me look at that Steam thing and play Bread Simulator, Abuelita made us dinosaur shaped cookies, and we talked about how his relationship with Melody was doing.

Things are going swimmingly for them.

I still had that weird dream, but there was no toast in the Ramirez household.

This morning I had a delectable sweet roll with powdered sugar, maple syrup, and raspberries. I parted from their house early to go to work. On my way home I could have sworn I saw that black-eyed doe from a month ago again.

When I entered the kitchen there it was, on a plate on the counter. The toast. Fresh.

It wasn't surprising to see it there, yet I know for certain I had nothing to do with it this time.

Before the the sunset Jeff stopped by, and said while I was gone it looked someone was in my house. He saw shadows shifting and the lights turn on and off. He also said his beard got stiff (or something along those lines), and that this was a sign of something not of this realm lurking about. (Something like that.)

Now these seem more like signs of a haunting. Maybe our mystery toast-maker is indeed a ghost? If it isn't a ghost... Then what could it be?

I do feel like things are... different. I wonder if they noticed that I left.

It's been long enough! It is time to call in the expert!

Dipper Pines!

He did take care of that ghost at the Northwest Mansion! Oh, I wish I could have been there! I heard they served the best breads with the finest cheese on teeny little plates! So cute!

Will the mystery be solved?

Join me next week to see if any progress was made!

Till then, I'm Tad Strange!

See you next time!

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s).
> 
> Today is a somber day. Many lost their lives across the world over. Let us mourn them, pray for those who were there and their loved ones for their safety.
> 
> Dragonsjustice, It's most unfortunate what happened. Wish Hàdrà a speedy recovery for me won't you? Thank you for the warning, I will tell the gnomes so they too can stay safe.
> 
> letters_creat_worlds, it was nice. I'm not used to sleeping with other people in the house but it was jut splendid. I still had the dream, but I felt less... heavy if that makes sense.
> 
> Hello Traveller. You are a space-time agent? That sounds dangerous, please be safe! My universe is on lock-down? I guess that does make me feel a bit more safe. Don't work too hard. I don't know what a hacker would get out of messing with my dreams. I played it with Soos, it was difficult but very fun!
> 
> Hello again the GREAT ANON! I'm pretty sure it's not sleepwalking, thank goodness! It has to be something I just can't comprehend. You have a pleasant day too!
> 
> Dear reader(s), make sure you stay safe! Tragic things happened today, it's heartbreaking, scary, and devastating, but we need to stand strong. I know it's going to be tough, but giving up hope won't help anyone. Send your thoughts to those who need it. I know that's the most I can do for now.
> 
> Stay safe.
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s).


	27. Journal Entry 27

Hello Journal.

The investigation this weekend was a success!

I finally know the identity of my mysterious bread-making guest!

Oh my it's not a ghost but somehow it turned out to be something way better and cuter. It's something Dipper called a Carbuncle. They're these cute little bird-like creatures with jewels on their foreheads with slight power of dreams. Dipper said something about it being too young to really be able to control its powers and that it was accidentally giving me those strange dreams.

You know those bluebirds I've talked about before? The Carbuncle was supposedly blending in with them and one morning when I left my window open it flew in and got trapped inside my house. Poor thing, I didn't even notice it flying above my head the past few weeks! It's been feeding off the residual residue of dark magic Chloe left behind (at least that's what Dipper told me) and it wanted to compensate for the food with food.

Dipper gave me a few charms to keep away evil spirits and creatures. He told me that the Carbuncle was completely harmless, and would move on soon once it finishes cleaning up my house. After he left the little guy actually appeared right in front of me, an adorable blue and orange bird with a crimson jewel on its head. It told me it had fun listening to me talk to the birds and wanted to visit again after migrating south for the winter. It also warned me not to go near deer anymore, especially black-eyed deer. I thanked it for the bread and then opened the window for it, before telling the little one it was free to visit whenever they please.

It never told me its name.

Oh well, maybe next year.

Thus ends another mystery.

I've put up those charms. They won't hurt any of the gnomes or any of the friendly forest dwellers, so that's good.

I guess it's back to a normal dream and morning breakfast schedule. Now that's it's over I'm starting to miss the toast and its maker.

May I dream of being toast again one day.

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s).
> 
> The mystery of the toast-maker has drawn to close. Carbuncle, can't say I expected that, not that I've ever heard of one before... I'm glad it wasn't anything bad.
> 
> Traveller, I can't say I know any other time-space agents. A rift sounds serious! It's like the climax of a good sci-fi movie! 
> 
> letters_creat_worlds, it turned out to be the cutest little thing. I kind of wanted to cuddle it, yet it looked so fragile. It's eyes were so big and beady, just super adorable. I'm glad it turned out this way.
> 
> Hello Red. What pet would I like? I actually haven't thought about it much before. I've always liked fish, though I can't help but feel guilty putting them in a glass box of water. I don't think anyone would enjoy that. I like pools but at least I can get out of it when I'm done. I also like turtles.
> 
> That will be all for tonight my dearest reader(s)! I wonder what tomorrow will bring!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s).


	28. Journal Entry 28

Hello Journal.

Sorry I did not update on Wednesday, I had to go out of town for work.

Nothing of great significance occurred.

Today I had a fresh sesame seed roll and orange juice for breakfast, with a side of bacon, sausage, and eggs. I was listening to the radio when the most peculiar thing happened.

I heard my own voice on the radio!

Isn’t that weird? I believe it was called _Welcome to Nightvale_ or something. Where have I heard that before? I think my relatives lived somewhere with a similar name. Why am I getting their radio then? It was an experience to say the least! The weather was just a delight to listen to and the reports were more than interesting. I kind of want to go and see it all for myself. Maybe meet the guy with my voice too! Wouldn’t that be just swell?

I haven’t seen that black-eyed doe in a few days. Now that I think about it when did I start seeing it? All signs point to it being a little less than friendly, yet I cannot draw any conclusions without evidence to back it up. 

On my way home I noticed something a bit off. Felix (my lawn flamingo) was in a different spot than usual. He was always to my left, to greet me on my way inside, yet today he was on the right facing towards the door. Oh well. 

That’s all for tonight! 

Until next time dear Journal. 

Goodnight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s)!
> 
> How are you all doing? Next week is Thanksgiving here in Gravity Falls, not our favorite Holiday but it is in the top thirty at 28.
> 
> Dragonsjustice I’m glad to hear you do not eat Carbuncles. I believe Dipper mentioned a correlation between them and dragons and he got all excited and he started flipping through one of his newer journals. I think he mentioned searching for you guys, might want to keep your eye out for him.
> 
> I wouldn’t want to go to the Paleolithic era dearest Traveller. Thanks for the heads up.
> 
> Hi cuzicouldyay! It was so adorable I wish I could just share its’ cute face with the rest of the world! I hope your day is just as splendid as my own.
> 
> Hello letters_creat_worlds, I too was relieved to learn how adorable our toast-maker was! Everything turned out fine!  
> That will be all for today.
> 
> Have a great weekend!
> 
> Goodnight dear Reader(s)!


	29. Journal Entry 29

Hello Journal.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I am very excited to eat with my extended gnome family! The festival should be fun too but I haven’t had anyone over for Thanksgiving before other than a friend or two. I can’t wait to cater to everyone! I don’t usually cook for this many people. Actually I usually don’t cook at all.

You know how it is.

The oven and I just have our differences.

Maybe one day we’ll settle our differences and get along.

Perhaps that day is tomorrow?

Not burning my house down would be nice.

Oh the memories…

Anywho, I’ve decided against making the classic turkey and instead will being cooking a Gravity Falls specialty my mom used to make. Floral soup with wild berries and mushrooms. I don’t know if it’s safe for gnomes actually… I will ask if they allergic to the ingredients tomorrow!

So today I had a slice of white bread with orange jam. It was stale. This was unfortunate. :(

In the meantime, Happy Thanksgiving!

Until next time Journal.

Goodnight!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s).
> 
> I’m sorry about Monday. I actually got so busy with work I fell asleep and didn’t update! I wanted to get things out of the way so I could have a few days off for the Holiday!
> 
> Hello ineffablye, that recipe looks absolutely delicious! I will try it out for myself! I wasn’t looking for it so much as keeping an eye out for it. Does can be dangerous, normal or not. It must be the wards like you say! I have no brothers. That I’m certain of. Night Vale not Nightvale? I will be sure to remember that.
> 
> Hey letters_creat_worlds. It’s possible that the wind turned Felix but it doesn’t explain how he moved across the lawn over the concrete path. Maybe I just thought he was on the other side this whole time? I think the Cecil person must just sound like me, I have no idea what he looks like. I don’t have any brothers.
> 
> Hello again Traveller. I am not searching for it. Just taking note of its absence. It’s probably just as you say, some stranger with a similar voice. It’s not impossible or anything. I kind of want to meet the host and see the face attached to the voice. I wonder if it’s anything like mine…
> 
> Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Feast until you can’t move!
> 
> Goodnight dear Reader(s), goodnight.


	30. Journal Entry 30: Cranberry Cornbread

Hello Journal.

Today marks the 30th journal entry! I would not have made it this far without the support of all of my lovely readers! I hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving. I had a great time with the gnomes. They loved the soup and asked for the recipe. I’m just glad I made it right this time! They brought over some special fairy bread and it complemented the soup quite nicely! I’m glad they weren’t allergic, I didn’t think they would be, but there was a chance.

The festival in-town was a lot of fun. There was a running of the turkeys, piñata wrestling, and pumpkin chuckin’ along with plenty of stalls and food. Mayor Tyler seemed pleased with how smoothly everything went. I had to leave before the evening bonfire and folk dancing but I bet it was a sight to behold!

The night ended with Jeff bringing out a bottle of strange grape juice he got from some satyrs. It must have gone bad because after one sip I was out cold and the next thing I knew it was morning and there were dozens of passed out gnomes and squirrels all over my house! I then got sick and found a note written in jam on the bathroom window:

“Don’t forget to put the box back where you got it. –Tad <3”

Did I write myself a note? What happened last night? What box? Was I sleepwalking?

Oh well.

Today’s recipe is cranberry cornbread! Again, this is not my own recipe but something I found on the internet!

Ingredients: 1/2 cup butter, 1 cup sugar, 2 eggs, 1 1/2 cups flour, 1 cup cornmeal, 2 teaspoons baking powder, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 1 1/2 cups buttermilk, and 1 cup cranberries (halved)

STEP 1: Mix the butter and sugar until they are nice and fluffy, inside a bowl of your choosing.

STEP 2: Add eggs and mix more.

STEP 3: Mix the flour, cornmeal, baking powder, and salt in a separate bowl.

STEP 4: Combine the dry mix and the moist mix to make the ultimate super special awesome omega ultra hyper mix, adding the buttermilk at regular intervals as you do so.

STEP 5: Fold in them tart cran-babies. Don’t worry, they aren’t actually babies. I just like calling them that.

STEP 6: Transfer the mix to a greased baking pan of your choosing. The shape will determine your cornbread’s final form.

STEP 7: Bake at 375 degrees Fahrenheit for about 40 to 45 minutes. If you poke it with a toothpick and it comes out clean then it’s done.

STEP 8: Take this time to clean up the mess you’ve made. Don’t deny it. That’s your mess. Clean it up.

STEP 9: Serve warm and consume its essence.

STEP 10: For your safety and the safety of all you hold dear check the oven to make sure it truly is off.

STEP 11: Look at your hands. You’ve created something wonderful. You are amazing. Good job!

STEP 12: Wow. There really isn’t a step 13 this time. Good. We don’t talk about step 13. EVER.

Try it if you like.

I probably won’t for some time, but I really want to.

Happy Black Friday. Or… try to get through it. Hang in there! It’s not that bad!

That’s it for tonight Journal.

Goodnight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s)!
> 
> Since this is entry 30, I was thinking of splitting up my Journal to make it easier for new readers and so things look cleaner. I think at entry 40 or 50 I’ll start a separate work on AO3. What do you guys think? I think it will make things look smoother at least. I don’t want to call it “The Average Life of Tad Strange Part 2” or anything along those lines. Maybe I’ll call it “The Odd Life of Tad Strange” since things have been a little less average than before.
> 
> Hi cuzicouldyay! I had a great time! What about you? Do you and your family celebrate Thanksgiving?
> 
> Hello Dragonsjustice. It’s not so much a human thing as it is an American thing, and even then not all American’s celebrate. I don’t see my family much anymore sadly. They just refuse to return to Gravity Falls for some reason! I don’t know, my parents are busy and my cousins were never the types to travel far to come visit me. I would go to visit them, but I can’t afford the travel expenses. Not to mention work. Thanksgiving with my neighbors and the gnomes is good enough for me. I hope you ate just as well as I did.
> 
> Hey letters_creat_worlds! It is really good! I would give you the recipe, but I honestly don’t know what all the ingredients are called, I just know where they grow in the woods and what they look like. I’m glad I’m not the only who has trouble with the kitchen.
> 
> Hello Traveller! I hope your Thanksgiving was great too!
> 
> That is all for now my dearest reader(s)!
> 
> Goodnight! Sleep well…


	31. Journal Entry 31

Hello Journal!

I’m sorry for once again missing an update! That’s been happening rather often lately. Work has gotten very busy thanks to the holiday season. I hope you can find it within yourself to forgive me.

This morning was quiet, it seems the birds have migrated for the winter. The air has gotten much chillier and I’ve had to pull out my heavier sweaters and Christmas lights. It’s the season for eggnog, hot cocoa, and gingerbread!

Just breathing in the morning air I can almost smell the snow to come! It’s going to rain though, or at least that’s what the weatherman says. He’s always right! Usually? Right?

The skies always seem gloomy this time of year, yet I can’t help but feel refreshed! The landscape of Gravity Falls Oregon, covered in a layer of undamaged snow is just a sight that takes my breath away each year.

Goodnight Journal.

Goodnight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello My Dear Reader(s)!
> 
> Are you excited for Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/Winter Solstice!?
> 
> Hi letters_creat_worlds! I don’t know if I wrote that. I mean that night is just, missing. I don’t remember anything. I can’t seem to find that box either. I have no idea what it means! Parallel universe? Sounds kind of dangerous to me.
> 
> Hey cuzicouldyay, glad you like my idea! I’m not sure what box it’s talking about! Nothing seems out of place in my house. I’m glad to hear that you and your family had a good time!
> 
> Hello Traveller. I will stay away from that stale juice. I think it made us all sick! The gnomes were vomiting all morning after they woke up and they had headaches. Glad to hear you had a great time!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!
> 
> Goodnight!


	32. Journal Entry 32

Hello Tad.

If you are reading this then some how, someway you got away. That is good, but you ARE NOT SAFE.

Keep running. 

Don't stop moving.

Remember to breathe.

If you aren't reading this, if you aren't Tad Strange, then I'm sorry. The man who has been updating this journal for the past few weeks is not the same man who you started out with.

He is in fact, still Tad Strange, just not YOUR Tad Strange. He didn't realize it himself, he noticed something was off but... Sadly I'm usually on the oblivious side.

Actually I am also Tad Strange.

This is probably going to sound crazy to anyone who reads this, especially my other selves. But it's important that I get this out.

Both of them have gone missing, actually most of the alternate versions of myself have gone missing.

I'll do my best to bring them back, all of them.

I won't give out the major details since HE could be reading this, but also that other guy could be reading this too. Actually they're probably both following this journal. I wouldn't be at all surprised!

I tried to warn my other self about that box but it was already too late.

I need to find it and put it back where it belongs.

You're probably confused, honestly so am I.

Don't worry, I won't just stop. I won't give up! I know I'm not your Tad, but I need you all to believe in me and to keep your eyes open.

Another Tad may end up here somehow and he might leave clues to this whole thing.

Sadly I'm not so skilled at reading clues. So if that does happen which it probably won't, keep your eyes out for anything off, suspicious, or dare I say unusual!

This is a lot to take in, especially for the other mes' they're probably scared because I'm scared and I'm not even taken yet! 

I have to go.

If I don't comeback, I'm sorry.

And Tad.

If you are out there.

Put that box back where you found it.

Trust no one. Especially your reflection

Be safe.

Goodnight Tad Strange <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers.
> 
> This might seem a bit off-kilter but hear me out. I am Tad Strange yet I am also not Tad Strange. Not YOUR Tad at the very least. I don't even know if this Tad is your Tad. The truth is I don't know, I may never know, and that is the truth.
> 
> Hello letters_creat_worlds. I'm sorry that your Tad is currently unavailable to answer your question. I will do my by best to reply in his stead. Gravity Falls is quite beautiful in the winter. As a matter of fact, and I can't safe if this is true in this Gravity Falls, but in my Gravity Falls during this time of year the sky turns purple and the wind begins to howl a wretched tune. The lake boils, becoming too hot to even look at and the trees begin to walk and talk about how when they were younger everyone had a little more going in their minds than they seem to these days. All they ever do is complain, like how it sucks that the dinosaurs went extinct right before they were fertilized and the air isn't clean enough.
> 
> Um, I guess if your Tad isn't back by Monday I'll give you all an update on my search. I'll see you all then I guess. Remember to be safe and if your Doppelganger tries to lure you into a van with free bread sticks just tell them that you just recently started a diet that is yeast and wheat free. If they insist they aren't your Doppelganger and ask for a picture... run, run far away. Change your name. Change your look. Don't stop. Never turn back.
> 
> Put the box back where you found it.
> 
> -Love Tad <3


	33. Journal Entry 33

Hello Dear Reader(s).

It has been… too long since my last update. I would like to apologize for my absence. Much has happened these past few weeks and I can’t say I know what exactly happened to me.

I was kidnapped.

Now I went back and looked at the last update, not from myself but a different me. As far as I can tell what the other Tad said is true. Myself and other versions of me were being held in some sort of dreamlike world. Do you remember that dream I wrote about in one of my earlier updates? The one with the golden fields of wheat, gorgeous sunset, and bakery. Well, it was a perfect recreation of that only my house was there, many versions of my house, and many versions of me.

I met a version on me that was a bit taller, one that was bit shorter, one that was a bit older, and one that was thinner. There were blue, purple, and orange Tads. Square, human, and angelic Tads. There were a fair number of female Tadmora Strange versions of myself though they may have actually outnumbered the Tads. I even met one Tad that could bake bread.

We were all confused, some more than others. All of us could recall having at the very least dreamt of this place once before and at first we thought that this too was a dream.

It was all REAL.

There was a plentiful supply of bread for us all, freshly baked, though by whom we may never know. There were at least a handful of us who sort of understood or had an educated guess as to what was happening. Amongst us there were a few theories.

Maybe this was the work of that hacker Bill and we were all trapped in this place called the Mindscape. However some of the Tads disagreed because this dream was in full color.

Another theory was that in one alternate universe there’s a particularly evil Tad who wants to harness the combined power of all Tads to become all powerful. Yet that would be unlikely seeing as how some of the smarter Tads pointed out this is not simply achieved by gathering Tads and having them run around.

The most curious theory was that our captor was simply a huge fan of ours that wants to collect us like action figures. I can’t decide if that would be flattering or creepy.

We never figured it out. After weeks of exploring our environment we found nothing, no information on our captor, where we were, or why we were captured in the first place. Only more Tads appearing dazed and confused in the fields and in need of some companionship.

Our escape was also a blur… Something about a box… All I can recall is waking up in my bed and going outside to find not golden fields of wheat, but green grass and Felix right where I left him on the lawn.

I’ve missed you guys. As I was away I lost track of time and now I can’t believe Christmas is just a few days away!

I’m glad to be back and I can’t wait to see what this week brings!

Goodnight Reader(s).


	34. Journal Entry 34

Hello Journal.

These past few days were beyond splendid. Never before have I had so many family members, friends, and neighbors over for this spectacular holiday! The gnomes came together and helped me decorate, what with the lost time from the past few weeks. Many of the residents of Gravity Falls payed me a visit, relieved that I had returned safe and sound.

The Pines even stopped by yesterday, Stanford and Dipper were all too eager to listen to me rattle on about what happened in what we have decided to call the “Wheat Dimension”. Mabel on the other hand seemed engrossed in keeping an eye on the gnomes. 

It was already sunset when the last of my guests left, a myriad of gifts under the tree, a young pine courtesy of the Northwest family. I can’t recall ever having had more gifts! Sadly I could not procure gifts for anyone while I was away. I made many wheat bracelets with the help of the other Tads, but when I got back they didn’t come with me. I don’t even know how I got back. Maybe I can do something for the town for their kindness.

But what should I do?

Today I woke up to the scent of freshly baked shortbread cookies and minty coffee. Jeff and he others used my kitchen to make a delicious breakfast feast, eggs, bacon, ham, sausage, and pancakes. I can’t recall buying the ingredients for these things. We still accept trade in Gravity Falls, I’m sure of that. It warms my heart to know that my new family and the people of my hometown are getting along so well!

Amongst my gifts I received a flannel shirt, sunflower seeds, suspenders, six ties, a pinecone, socks, a blue scarf, a purple knitted sweater that lights up and says I LOVE BREAD, a coupon to the Mystery Shack, an antique music box, mittens, a slingshot, a bestiary on the local mythical creatures, three glowing beans, unicorn tears, and much more.

I feel a bit spoiled. :)

The Mythical Breads Festival will be on January 23rd! I am so excited! Soooo the bakery finished its construction while I was away. I don’t know who they’ve hired to run it and I haven’t seen it yet, but I plan to do just that this weekend. I can’t wait!

I’ll see you again soon.

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s).
> 
> I neglected to update Wednesday and I must apologize! Since I was gone so long I had to sort things out with work and get other affairs settled before Christmas. I hope you all understand.
> 
> Hello again Traveller, it has been too long! A pocket dimension? That makes sense, I think that’s what we all agreed it was. Can’t be sure until I find more answers though.
> 
> Hi letters_creat_worlds! I’ve missed you too! I’m okay, still confused, but okay. How are you? Christmas was quite the spectacle. Christmas in Gravity Falls? I’d say it’s like any other holiday we celebrate. There was a festival, everyone got together to build snowcastles. We didn’t have a snow so we used woodchips instead… Not the best idea.
> 
> Thank you so much for sticking with me this far, especially after what’s happened! The next update will be my 35th entry! I think I might try my hand and drawing. What do you all want to see?
> 
> It’s been a long day and I need to get some sleep.
> 
> Merry Christmas!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s).


	35. Journal Entry 35

Hello Journal.

This is my last update of the year! I’m excited to start and at the same time I’m a bit sad to see it all end. So much happened in just a handful of months and I feel I’ve made so many fond memories. Things got a bit bumpy here and there, but in the end all that matters is that I’ve made so many new and wonderful friends! 

I can hardly believe it all, though I’ll look back fondly at the past year. I gained a gnome family, I dated a bread witch, and I even went to some other dimension full of different versions of me! Why if I didn’t know any better I’d say it was all a dream. It makes me think, what will happen this New Year? Of course there’s the new bread festival...

Oh, that does remind me I saw the new bakery! It was beyond beauty, truly a sight to behold. I was practically salivating and squealing with glee when someone slapped some sense into me. I’m not sure who, I blacked out for a moment. The baker is a nice young man, can’t say I’ve met him before. My goodness, his name is on the tip of my tongue!

Well, darn! I feel terrible! I can’t believe I forgot his name of all things!!!

I swear my memory is going.

He was polite, a bit shy, but friendly. Not too tall and not too short, of average build, and he had a soothing voice. It was almost… familiar somehow. Apparently he went to culinary and even studied under famous pâtissiers in France! I tasted a few of his pastries and they were just a delight! 

I’m looking forward to spending more time in the Gravity Falls' official bakery. It doesn’t have a name yet so for now we’ve just been calling I what it is. It will officially open once it gains a few more employees and everything is settled.

As far as New Year’s resolutions go I think I’ll strive to spend more time with my new family and not get into so much trouble.

I hope things go well next year!

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s)!
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed your Christmas/Tree-burning holiday! Now we’re about to start a new year and I can hardly believe we’ve come this far.
> 
> Hello Dragonsjustice! Burning trees? That’s like quite the event! I wish I could have seen it!
> 
> Merry Christmas to you too Traveller and a Happy New Year!
> 
> I hope your New Year is just as excellent cuzicouldyay! Any resolutions?
> 
> I’ve had a wonderful time with you all! I can’t wait to see what this New Year holds for us!
> 
> Happy New Years!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!


	36. Journal Entry 36

Hello Journal.

Today I went to the new bakery again to meet with the young baker. His name is Dan. I can’t believe I could had forgotten his name! He made me some cream horns, with a side of fried apples, and a French vanilla latte this morning. Everything left a warm feeling of happiness in my stomach. His baking skills are beyond anything I’ve had in the entirety of my life!

We talked about the weather, how the cold of winter had finally started to take its hold, and his move to Gravity Falls a few weeks ago. He said that our town is filled with a sense of character he hasn’t seen in some time, with an odd charm about it, but that it reminded him of home. It seems like we’ll get along just fine.

This evening I was visited by a rather unexpected guest. It was… a cat? At least I want to say it was. It had the body of a cat, but its face was all… teeth. I was sitting on my porch when he appeared out of nowhere, he didn’t seem to notice me, and he started nibbling on some of the leaves on the ground. When I got up he finally took notice of me and ran off into the woods. He seems to be a stray, I hope he’s alright.

I wouldn’t mind getting a pet. Since it’s been getting colder and I’ve been getting fewer visits from Sybil and my extended gnome family. I’ve grown a bit lonely in their absence.

Maybe I can try buying some cat food and leave it out for him.

I’ve heard you aren’t supposed to feed strays, however it is getting colder and his coat seemed awfully thin. I wouldn’t mind giving him a warm place to stay for the winter.

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s)!
> 
> Should I name the cat? I was thinking something like Fluffy or Glunkus.
> 
> Hello cuzicouldyay. I’m sure you had a great time! That sounds like it would be a lot of fun. He is a pleasant young man. In a small town like ours it is nice to see new faces every now and again. His treats are scrumptious! I’d say they are of the highest quality.
> 
> Hi letters_creat_worlds! So far so good. I’d like to think Dan and I are already friendly, but I wonder if he feels the same. I hope your New Year was good too!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!


	37. Journal Entry 37

Hello Journal.

Sooo, guess who’s the brand new owner of an adorable and loving cat? ME! That’s right! Glunkus, that stray cat with a lot of teeth I mentioned last time came by again. He’s been stopping by every few days (or at least I’m assuming it’s a he because to be perfectly honest I can’t tell) and he’s gotten closer and closer, until finally yesterday I got to pet him! His fur is the softest thing ever! I gave him some bread and he just devoured it. I also gave him some other things and he ate those too. In reality I have any idea what to feed a cat. I heard milk is bad but honestly I don’t know what I’m doing. He’s been going in and out of my house at his leisure since yesterday (not sure how he gets passed the door). He gave me some wet matches this morning. A cute gesture but I don’t think I’ll need them. I think he likes me!

Does this count as ownership? Maybe one day he’ll just disappear.

He seems like the free-spirited type if that makes sense.

I don’t know if he has eyes or a nose, but he seems to get around well enough. You could even say he’s… all teeth.

Okay that was really bad wasn’t it?

It has been a while since my last update. I’ve been neglecting this lately. The guilt is tearing me apart! You must understand that I’ve been busy preparing for the festival, I’m the head of the bread and interspecies relations committee. I think I’ll go ahead and instead of updating Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I’ll change it to one or two days a week. No set days. Since I’ll be busy with work too. It’s sad, I know, but I’ll do my best to make every update count!

That’s all for today!

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s).
> 
> What do you think of Glunkus? It’s nice having someone around at night to keep me company. He’s a bit odd but I think he’s cute. I’m just glad to keep him out of the cold!
> 
> Hi cuzicouldyay. Sadly he cannot talk. He doesn’t meow either, it sounds more like gurgling and breaking bones. I don’t think he has a tongue… He seems to respond to the name Glunkus though and he can purr!
> 
> So the festival is January 23rd! I can’t wait! I’m so excited!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!


	38. Journal Entry 38

Hello Journal.

Tomorrow is the day! Tomorrow we hold the Mythical Breads Festival right herein Gravity Falls and I CAN NOT sleep. I’m just too excited! The bakery will officially open to the public and its name will be revealed!

I’m so pumped! It feels like only yesterday we were talking about all these things as though they were only a passing dream. Now that dream is coming to fruition. From dusk till dawn, and I don’t mean the old convenience store either, we’ll all be celebrating our non-human neighbors and our shared love of bread. Never before have I seen the town so alive with such a diverse group coming together for one purpose. It’s very refreshing. Especially seeing how everyone has almost seamlessly accepted our magical friends from the forest.

Jeff and the other gnomes were more than eager to help despite the initial opposition they received from Dipper and Mabel. It seems something happened between them when the twins first arrived in Gravity Falls, however all hard feeling have been pushed aside, it’s been enough time, and they have all clearly changed. 

In other news Dan and I are getting along like butter and toast. We went to see a movie together at the mall, worked on plans for tomorrow, and he’s been letting me try all of the scrumptious creations he’ll be selling after today. I’ve never had a best friend before. I wonder if we’ll ever become that close. We most certainly get along well enough so far. Though if there’s anything I’ve learned these past 6 months it’s that I probably should take things slowly. He’s a nice young man and I would hate for this new found friendship to end so soon.

Glunkus has brought over a few friends. It started with this larger cat that looked like he got into the garbage, then more and more cats started showing up. I’ve bought more cat food to feed them and the gnomes built this delightful little kitty door into my house for them. While I’m out they’ve been hanging out there house sitting more since my son-in-law Marston and my darling Sybil have taken to staying in my house until spring since it’s difficult to move them around outside in the snow. The cats and the gnomes appear to be getting along, though some of them find Glunkus a bit unsettling to look at for some reason.

I hope it doesn’t snow tonight, I love the snow but it would make getting around difficult and we might have to cancel the festival! That would be just too heartbreaking after all the work everyone put into it!

Before I go for the weekend I must mention I did see a doe again, though from how far she was I couldn’t tell if it was the same one from before. She was staring at me from beyond the tree line, and I felt a chill go up my spine before I even spotted her. I know that deer is bad news yet I have no clue what its goals could possibly be.

Hopefully this weekend will go over smoothly! Doe-less. No blackouts, kidnappings, or yelling. No death threats, disappearances, or serial vandalism. Just fun and wonder for all!

May you have a wonderful Mythical Breads Day!

Goodnight Journal!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s)!
> 
> I hope you guys are just as excited as I am for the Mythical Breads Festival! You are all invited but if you can’t make it that’s okay. I heard there’s blizzard on the east coast, be safe.
> 
> Hello again Traveller, I will try my best to be careful. I’m sure no harm will come to me this weekend if I keep a vigilant eye open!
> 
> Hi cuzicouldyay! He is a wonderful companion! Thank you for being so understanding! May you also be well and have a great time this weekend.
> 
> Hey letters_creat_worlds, we’ve been having a lot of fun. He seems to enjoy catnip and chasing string on a stick. It does seem like each day goes by faster and faster. I’m not sure if it’s the weather but I can’t help but feel tired sooner with each passing day. Sometimes I envy Glunkus, he seems so carefree at times.
> 
> Rest well my dear readers, and may you have a great weekend! Eat some bread with a friend that makes you feel magical!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!


	39. Journal Entry 39

Hello Journal!

I know you’ve been aching to hear about the Mythical Breads Festival, and it was to say the least a huge success! However due to heavy snowfall my power went out for a few days and I lost my connection to the internet. Now everything is fixed and we are good to go!

While the power was out me and the gnomes burned a few logs on the fireplace and swapped spooky stories about creatures in the woods and what lies beyond a wormhole. Glunkus and the strays slept in my room during the day and went out at dusk and dawn to stretch their legs.

Currently there’s piles of snow everywhere and I’ve had a few days off from work do to the weather.

Looking at the white expanse beyond my window seems to activate this strong desire to curl up in some nice warm blankets and sleep the hours away, waking up only to eat some bread. I’ve not done that. Instead I’ve built a snow fort outside and there seems to be an army of snowmen on my lawn. The gnomes don’t seem to mind the cold so much, perhaps their beards keep them warm? The cats don’t seem to mind it either but they seem to prefer to sleep inside next to a sunny window. I’ve had to make several trips to the store to buy cat food for them.

Dan the baker came by a few times this week with a fresh bread and warm drinks. Apparently my energy situation reached his ears and he couldn’t leave me with only chilly bread and cold tea to fill me up. What a nice guy. I hope I can return the gesture to him soon!

In other news a large creature has been spotted in the tree line, the infamous Bigfoot is what most have deemed to be its identity. I haven’t seen anything myself. Whoever or whatever is out there I hope they are of a benevolent nature. Maybe Jeff knows who it is.

Today I ate cheesy bread that Dan brought over. The cheese was still warm and gooey and it was unequivocally divine. I feel spoiled to be frank.

I hope the snow melts enough so people can walk around safely but also that it doesn’t become ice after it melts. I’ll take snow over ice on the pavement any day.

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s)!
> 
> I know my content hasn’t been very colorful recently. I’ve been rather busy and to be honest not much has happened the past few weeks that’s really out of the ordinary. Honestly I find the normalcy a bit weird myself now that I've gotten used to the oddities my town seems to hold in troves. Remember to be safe out there. The winter weather can be rather dangerous.
> 
> Hello letters_creat_worlds! I had a wonderful weekend filled with baked goods and magical creatures. I think the only people who had more fun than myself was Dipper and Stanford. They would not stop asking our magical neighbors questions! It was amusing for the most part. For some reason Mabel didn’t seem to get along with the unicorns. I would have thought she’d be delighted to see them. According to Ms. Chu they have a bitter past filled with violence and lies. I didn’t stay to ask.
> 
> Have fun out there!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!


	40. Journal Entry 40

Hello Reader(s)!

I've been traveling the past few weeks so my journal has been neglected. It's work related so I haven't gotten much of a chance to sit down and just type, not that there's much to tell. I left the house in the love and care of the gnomes and the stray cats! I've also brought a charm with me to protect me from... things. 

This is the fortieth update! Normally I would post a recipe for bread however I don't have a lot of time at the moment. I'm on the east coast as of this moment and will be attending what I've been told is some sort of Eastern Culture Convention of sorts. I don't recall the name, but if that rings a bell and you happen to be going you might see me there!

Lately I've been trying different breads from bakeries local to the hotels I've been at. Honestly they are all scrumptious beyond comprehension and I am more than delighted to have this chance to try them all. If I had to pick a bakery that I prefer though I'd still say our new bakery back in Gravity Falls is still my favorite!

Oh dear! I just realized I haven't told you all the name! How silly of me!

Well you've waited long enough!!!!

Our new bakery is called...

Mr. Wilt’s Pride And Heart Golden Bread

It's a long name yet it has it's charm.

How are you all doing by the way? Valentine's Day is Sunday! Maybe I'll have a themed recipe for next week?

Hi Traveller! I suppose they are a bit vain. Completely hypothetical. You have a great week too!

Hello again letters_creat_worlds. Try no to forget to eat breakfast! It's the most important meal of the day.

That's all for tonight!

Sorry for the informal update!

Goodnight Reader(s)!


	41. Journal Entry 41: the Mysterious Letter

Hello Journal.

I’m back from touring the states! My time travelling was so wonderful and I met so many friendly faces, the experience as a whole was rather refreshing. I hope everyone had a splendid Valentine’s Day this weekend. Surprisingly I’ve received some Valentines myself from various people, including some ‘secret admirers’! Oh, how it feels like those days back in school when I was young so long ago.

Actually I received one this very evening and I wanted to share it with you all, so I haven’t opened it just yet. The envelope appears to be made from a higher quality ebony paper, it’s smooth and thick. My name adorns one side in a bright yellow ink with blue undertones, written in pristine and fluid cursive. The lip has been sealed with a golden wax using a symbol that looks familiar yet mysterious. There also appears to be smaller symbols, just on the cusp of visibility along the edges of the envelope. Clearly there was a great deal of thought placed into this letter and I cannot wait to open it!

Are you ready? The letter reads…

**_“RGCCNPD_ **

**_AAHPYAIAOVTQTJIJAEMOWMGLBTLYQVVHNLGTEGMUBCNSIIAALGOPIPLDUF_ **

**_WHKHYGEGPHAQQYNWEAGRIFDPNWEFBDFUCOIGNVVJHJGDENWVBKMQWCFXGUBZVGPTUBDEWZBGFTHHHNLRW_ **

**_WMPZQLEUIYSJCCXAYFXRYGPLHSPRZKORUHYBALVHJGTDYTELMWCGAPVJTVVHSFAZOCOJ_ **

**_DGTSUESLWXKQPEOCDRZVHCPONWIFZHEWGDNPNQUDMDGEBPTFNRFVJPVTSGJXHKPPYSYBCWCFQEBXSSWUAG_ **

**_DNGLMTMLLHOTGDNHTEIQUG_ **

**_DWVEBTBBFEOEM_ **

**_WHAZOROHTGRQVSCHOAMWVKPRNWIFWQSUKXJAEGIVYVJPHXWVTOPGEZHIEABZWVJZVHEEDLBIAZOURBUDTCT_ **

**_WVKDWJREMQHNATHIHRBRDFTLQTRBNBCWTOLTSFMUHJGZHTYBCQSXGCIEEA_ **

**_DWVTNLHRZHWVDPFDNTAWVGPJIJAALLQCPWCKEVVHHGTYUAPRIFS_ **

**_GNGPJLEYTPMFCCFXNT_ **

**_KKVSUALZGLAOQCNPLRFLGVGYWTTUMRBGYSILAYSVOOQYAHTGPHHTGPM”_ **

Well, that took quite some time to copy onto here.

I was not expecting this.

It also came with a key and an occlupanid.

Hopefully this isn’t from that hacker again!

What was his name?

Bill something?

I would ask Dipper or Ford Pines to help me decipher this but it is rather late and they are both away on a trip somewhere with the other Pines.

This weird letter, the key, and bread tag are all that’s in the envelope. The letter has hearts drawn all over it and they are anatomically correct from what I can tell.

I was going to share a recipe with you today, but I feel that it can wait. There’s plenty of other topics I wanted cover tonight too! The tour, this weird sensation I got Monday, the strange dream that followed, amongst other things. However, I can’t shake the impression that I am being monitored after opening this letter.

Surely whoever sent this has been following my journal! Perhaps it is some elaborate prank and completely harmless. I feel safe at the very least. The charms are still in working order plus I am surrounded by stray cats and sleepy gnomes. Feasibly I could call someone just in case something happens.

It’s late however, and I don’t wish to disturb anyone at this hour.

Maybe I’ll phone Dan the baker. I recall him telling me about his late night ‘web surfing’.

I can’t help recalling that dream a few nights ago. I’ll tell you all later.

For now I think it is best to sleep on the matter.

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s).
> 
> I know I promised a recipe and I have it right here, a simple guide to Mabel Bread by Mabel Pines. She gave it to me when she was younger and I came across it again. I’ve never actually had any myself, but I’ve been told of its “amazing properties”. According to Manly Dan, it has scratch and sniff properties.
> 
> Hello again letters_creat_worlds! Traveling is fun! Sadly it isn’t something I’m accustomed to. Binge watching movies is always such a delight! I spent it out of town for the most part, but when I arrived back in Gravity Falls in the evening Dan (the baker) was kind enough to greet me with a small cake. How kind of him. His kindness and generosity seems almost endless!
> 
> Perhaps I will upload more on tumblr, concerning how this weekend went. Also my dear reader(s), I would like to invite to ask me questions, and perhaps we can share our theories about this mysterious letter.
> 
> Until then.
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s).


	42. Journal Entry 42

Hello Journal.

 

I must apologize! In the last update I fear I made many mistakes when typing up the mysterious letter therefore making it impossible for any of us to solve.

 

Here is a proper translation.

 

**RGCCNPO**

**AAHPYATNTAICTAZOPCEYQNSCJPFATSUNOOOGPNTCNNTKCVCYXSLNTMUCWU**

**WHKHYGPTUMPCQPEBTYYBCGPGVSYHEAEADRQTYCCRTUMVYAYTNWJOHZOWIJEQWPNVIPRTQHHTOIAAKOFQH**

**WMPZQLPHNDHVCTOFNDPBSHBCPOJTCHNXVKGOLSCPVRZVSGGJYIZELMEIVKYYTOYBCQCY**

**DGTSUEDYBCZCPVFHSPRFBDBFVSCHCEDCHGVCYXBLYOMWVCVDZDCTUMESUVMOITNRMGMQWEISZTUQVTQTXY**

**DNGLMTXYQMDFGUEMICAAOH**

**DWVEBTMOKJDQ**

**WHAZORZUYLGCVJTMDYEGPLBIVSCHZNRALARNPNPDKGPHBKYTFAMEPWQHGPEQXEHBJVSTXTHVJOHNUCOCQUG**

**WVKDWJCRRVWZAKYNWPTBXGFCYPLDQYBCURTGDMTCTUMRBGAZOCPVRZRDGP**

**DWVTNLSEEMLHDGWICRSGPHBAQFUCOIPIQZKXPCCPTRZQONRPURP**

**GNGPJLPLYUBRCTWCCR**

**KKVSUAWMLQPAQTEUAPXVAWSPEPNWPOAMZVQYLFZDAZWQUUVEBTERRMV**

 

Oddly enough I’ve not heard hide of hair from any of the Pines family in a month. Nobody has. I know they went on a trip, but I didn’t expect it to be this long.

 

Dan the baker and I have been spending more time together especially on the weekends. I’m worried he might be neglecting his work just to “hangout” with an old man like me. I’m happy to have a best friend truly! However I don’t want to hinder him or the bakery.

 

Just this morning we had strawberry strudels with cream cheese and they were certainly delectable! He offered to give me personal cooking classes free of charge. I’m so excited! Maybe I’ll be able to make him something if all goes well.

 

Before I go I must note that over the past few weeks I’ve noticed strange large foot prints in the mud. They don’t match anything I know.

 

I hope it isn’t something malicious.

 

Or hungry...

 

Goodnight Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader(s).
> 
> How are you? I’m doing fine myself! I know my updates have been sparse. This letter continues to puzzle me and I’m worried about the Pines Family. I hope they are all safe. Otherwise things seem peaceful in Gravity Falls.
> 
> Hello Traveller, so it wasn’t Bill? Then who has sent these strange letters?! WHO!
> 
> Hello again letters_creat_worlds! I like Dan too! We’ve been getting along swimmingly. The letter is interesting, a bit frightening, but interesting. 
> 
> Welcome Tlasruoyt aeo tekil dluo wy obt neme gduj. I do believe this is your first comment. Mike Schmidt? Can’t say I’ve met him or seen a pizzeria fall from the sky. Perhaps it’s deep in the woods. I will say hello should he stop by town.
> 
> I’m so sorry for the miscommunication! I hope we can solve this mystery soon!
> 
> Goodnight Reader(s)!


	43. Tad Tad taD TaD Tad tad TAD tAd

Tad _Tad_ TAD taD Tad TAd ~~**TAd**~~ TaD tad tAD tAd TAd Tad TAd TAd **tad** tAD Tad ~~TAD~~ taD TAd Tad TAd

 

TaD tad _tAD_ tAd taD Tad TAd Tad _Tad_ TAD  taD tAD tAd TAd Tad TAd

 

TAD taD **Tad TAd** tAD tAd TAd Tad tAD **Tad ~~TAD~~** TAd Tad _TAd **tad**_ tAD Tad Tad ~~TAD~~ taD

 

tAD tAd ~~TAd~~ _Tad_ **TAD taD** TAd Tad tAD tAd TAd **Tad TAd** TAd tAD tAD tAd  **tad** tAD Tad ~~  
~~

 

TaD _tad_ ** _t_ AD** tAd Tad _Tad_ TAD taD ~~tAD~~ Tad ~~TAD~~ TAd Tad TAd 

 

  1. ~~TAD~~
  2. ~~tad~~
  3. ~~Tad~~
  4. _TAd_
  5. TaD
  6. tAD
  7. **Tad**



tAd TAd Tad tAD _**Tad**_ TAd Tad tAD **TAd** TAd tAD **  
**

 

Tad TAD ~~TaD~~ TAd _tAD_ ** tad tad** taD

TAd _tAD_ tad **taD** TaD ~~TAD~~

**TAD** ~~TAD~~ tad

 


	44. BREAD TAB

NONSENSE

NOT TAD

FORGET TAD

NOT HERE

NULL

WRONG

MINE NOW

LOOK BACK

SOURCE 42

KEY AND ??????????

TOO LATE


	45. Journal Entry 45 I Guess

Hey there kiddos! I'm sadly not your usual beloved host, but I'm what you're stuck with for now. No I did not kidnap him either this time.

Gosh, it looks like you've been left hanging for awhile now. Or maybe you forgot about Tad, I know I did, all of the time... Point is don't feel guilty. Don't worry. I'm here, and I'm a swell guy if I do say so myself. I've known Tad for some time now and I'm sure if he was here right now he would totally agree with everything I'm saying right now. Now I'm not his friend or anything, just his stylish and amazing acquaintance, but I do care about this very much.

I'm getting off track here so let's get to those deats! Someone, and by someone I mean one of you lovely darling readers, Airlea, cracked that troublesome code! It's over, the wait. For that. Tad, well, he's still kidnapped, but we're one large step closer to cracking that too. Probably? Maybe? Ah, let's not fret over that, he definitely wouldn't want that.

Here is the message as translated by Airlea sent by the kidnapper, to Tad, before he disappeared.

_**"Dear Tad,** _

_**My feelings for you are like a hellish flame; eternal, hot and dangerous.** _

_**If I were the moon, then you'd be the stars adorning the sky with your light when I am drowned in shadow.** _

_**I know we have hardly spoken, and perhaps we may never see eye to eye, but I need you now.** _

_**Perhaps you won't understand this request, and maybe that's for the best, but I need you.** _

_**Please, my dearest Strange.** _

_**Put the box bac[k*].** _

_**If you could do this one thing this one simple task, then I will be content with observing you from afar.** _

_**It is currently in the top drawer of your dresser, the one you never open.** _

_**Put it where it belongs, then you and I can live in eternal peace.** _

_**Sleep well my darling.** _

_**With all my immortal existence the one who walks amongst the trees(?)."** _

So romantic and creepy! Just what one would expect from an inter-dimensional stalker being of unknown gender. They seem eloquent in their vernacular, I'm almost jealous! They call them self or selves, this could be a group of stalkers (Tads are really popular to collect right now in niche world-ending circuits), the One Who Walks Amongst the Trees. (It's singular but this could be a hive-mind we're talking about you never know these days.) Spooky!

Anywho, darlings since I'm here I might as well tell you how things are going in Gravity Falls. Everything's, well, how should I put this. Bad. Thing's are really REALLY bad. Everyone is missing besides the Dan the Baker. He's fine. Well not FINE, but he's alive and here. There's also this tear in the lake, not that Weirdmageddon tear you kids are probably jumping to. No this is more along the lines of a black hole, but not because there would be no planet if there was. It's more like this dark whirlpool, like when you drain the tub and it starts to funnel down only not as fun. Also there are these weird hushed voices coming out of it all the time speaking an octave to low for you to really understand what they're saying. Every now and again there's a disembodied hand that comes out the size of a bear and it snatches a cat or a gnome or whatever happens to get in its path. So yeah...

Oh and anyone or anything trying to leave the town ends up at the other end of town and facing inward so the only way out really is that swirl of pure heebie jeebies.

I hope you find all this informative. I'm not sure why the internet still works, but I'd probably have to resort to socializing with Dan without it and he's not really up to talking.

I'll be back in a few days when the coast is clear to give you more details, after I do some research on this walker amongst the trees and do a run inside that portal.

Wish me luck.

Night Kids. XP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello I'd feel guilty not doing this bit too for our absent host so I will do my best to address you all.
> 
> Hi Synthsea. I don't know. Probably not. I would like that too, well not like, but if fixes this place that'd be nice.
> 
> Airlea Congrats Kid! You deserve a pat on the back. Tell me what you'd like and if it free and in my power I'll try to fulfill it. Kay? Kay! Keep it up Kid!
> 
> Everyone else, thanks for putting in the effort for our common acquaintance I'm sure he'd love to thank you all individually. but I'm not him sooooo I won't be doing that. Yeah. Feel free to ask me things and I'll try to answer them with words that make sense.


	46. Journal Entry 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back with news on the situation!

Hi, not Tad again. 

Sorry.

Well not really sorry, because I'm great. This isn't my journal though so...

It's been a LONG week. You know that box mentioned in the note? I went into Tad's dresser and found NOTHING. It's gone.

Oh no! Our biggest lead is missing. You know I looked at the past updates made by Tad, and I feel there is only one person or persons that might have this mysterious infamous box! Jeff and the gnomes. Journal Entry 30. Alternate Tad wrote our Tad a note about the box and he was with them that the night. So naturally other than our mysterious kidnapper and our beloved host the only ones who know about the box and what or where it would be are our strange bearded neighbors... And I guess the other Tad that wrote Entry number 32 since he's the one that wrote the first warning. Let's call him the Tad of Hearts, since he uses them a lot. Gods of the Multiverse this is hard to piece together!

However that was back in November right? Why wait till February to write him a letter, a encrypted letter no less, and act? That seems so... so stupid. Especially since this is a powerful being from another dimension we're probably talking about! Hey, maybe it couldn't get there any sooner. Maybe it wanted to be romantic in its kidnapping. Maybe the mysterious box, the letter writer, and the kidnapper aren't as related as we've been lead to believe. I mean Tad was kidnapped earlier in the year and all. Perhaps this box is the reason why Tad has become such a hot item on the intergalactic space-time menu.

Tad you oblivious lovable idiot. What did you get down to in that drunken stupor. I need to catch a gnome and shake the truth out of him. Get to the bottom of this hot mess!

Also what is up with the doe? It's been there for awhile just showing up all the time! Maybe she's the kidnapper. Haha, I just had the funniest image of a deer walking on two legs kidnapping Tad. It's both hilarious and absolutely terrifying.

This is only gonna get tougher isn't it? Oh boy, what have I signed up for? Oh well. Dan is still here, sort of, maybe I can get him to be helpful and less traumatized if I offer him something nice. Cookies are nice right? I wouldn't really know about those sort of things.

In other news I actually haven't seen a gnome in eleven days, but things could be worse. I do believe that the Pines family, our infamous group of adventurous misfits, was out of town when this all started. They've been gone since January or February actually... Hmmm, gears are turning here in my brain. Things are clicking and light bulbs are starting flash. Eureka!

That letter delay must have something to do with them. The only pair of brains with enough cells in this whole town to crack that message and with supernatural know-how to prevent all this. Or maybe some magic preventing that letter from entering town period that is connected to them. I mean that charm sure packs a punch so I wouldn't be surprised. Perhaps they could still get back into town if they aren't dead wherever they are.

No point in placing too much hope in that though. Ha!

I'm not the hero this town needs, but I'm the only one that can carry a cohesive sentence around here so that places all the responsibility on my perfect shoulders! 

We're definitely screwed.

Maybe I should just give up on these guys and grab a pair a scissors and leave, but that would be soooo uncool of the great me.

I'll review the Journal, Entry 30 onward, and scour for more clues.

Don't be surprised if I take some time to reply. I will jump into that hole of unknown terror and drag a hand into this dimension to beat information out of it if I have to!

I WILL come back though. Unlike our innocent and simple minded host I'm tough and untouchable. Science has tried to explain my tremendous nature, but it got distracted by lovely lashes and my uncanny resemblance to definition of perfect. We dated for awhile. Didn't work out. Some things were said. A portal to another plane of existence opened up. A few things exploded. People cried. It's in the past now.

When I get back will be with INFORMATION and maybe a gnome or a hand, whichever is easier and less of a hassle to catch.

I'm also going to change Tad's icon. Spinning purple square just isn't doing it for me.

See you latter darlings!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I give you direct answers to indirect questions and indirect answers to direct answers.
> 
> Traveller, can't say I've watched that show, but there is chance that it like that. There is also a chance it isn't like that. I'm not going to look it up. I think the kidnapper opened it. Safe bet. Or you maybe the box is what opened the rift. I wasn't there to see it happen.
> 
> ineffablye, honestly neither have I. It is bad. I have tried, the suction on that thing is pretty strong. Almost lost Dan to it. Now the Mystery Shack would be great plan, but I can't get to it. You see I'm allergic to Unicorn hair. It's completely out of my power to get in without a full-body protective suit. Keep dreaming and hoping kid. Maybe it will give me some cosmic boost in my luck stats.
> 
> Airlea, sorry kiddo, but I'm far too delicious to be a Dorito and too beloved to be a mere dream demon. I don't think anyone is OKAY. That's a statistical likelihood I can't say no to. There a re still signs of the little guys but I think they're getting more cautious so I haven't seen any in a long time. I don't OWN a Tad. Honestly not one of my hobbies. Collecting living things for display or to just have them is for less awesome living beings. Morty is a swell kid. His Grandpa is even more so. Except in the dimensions when they aren't. There is no dimension where I'm not awesome.
> 
> SynthSea you are welcome! Can't say it was hard to hack into Tad's account. His computer has the password saved. He should really get tighter security on this thing, and upgrade it. It runs like a Commodore. The box is missing and I don't have a clue where Tad found it. I highly doubt he stole it. You never know. Maybe our Tad has a secret desire to collect boxes with connections to great and terrible things.
> 
> Well, well, well we've made it this far! Alive no less! Unless there are undead followers, but I'm totally okay with that. 
> 
> Have a wonderful week. Catch em' all. I know I am. Unless you're in Canada, then you probably can't. That sucks and I'm sorry. Unless you have no idea what I'm talking about. Saw a legendary myself. Didn't catch it. Sadly. Even the awesome me can't do everything.


	47. Journal Entry 47

Hello, hello, HELLO!!!

Still alive I see. And yes, so am I. Dan is too. Though I suppose a part of him wishes that wasn't the case.

That got dark fast.

Wow, no, let's not go there.

Nope.

We are totally past that.

Now that we are totally past that let's get on with this week's news.

I found a gnome named Roy. Not really the gnome I was hoping for, but he's the one we've got. So Roy, luckily, has a high tolerance for certain beverages and on that mysterious night long ago Tad and them went and took a trip through the forest. Apparently there's a cave, go figure, in the mountains close to Tad's that's supposed to be sealed and was housing this box that contained... well I don't know, but according to Roy is gave him the heebie jeebies. Soooooo probably something pretty darn evil.

So yeah. According to him the box was hidden at this underground bunker with a secret entrance in the woods by our gnomish allies. I'm not sure if this was a good plan or a god awful plan, maybe a bit of both.

Anywho, now there seems to be something in that bunker that's, well extremely unfriendly, because when Roy and a few others went to get the box back things happened, (truly graphic details) long story short, and then there was one. I'm thinking this is Ford's bunker and the mysterious unfriendly is that shapeshifter he hatched. Oh boy I'm so lucky. I haven't seen a shapeshifter since those crazy Time Wars!

I've sent Dan into the Mystery Shack with the instruction to find "Anything that you can't put a function to". He came back with a few... things. I mean I can work with most of this and I'm not going to give you name and function of everything, but basically it will help. Except that. What even is that? I don't want to know what you do with that.

To answer the question I've rudely left unanswered until this point my true name has been lost, I've had many since. I mostly go by 66N. Numbers are easier to translate universally. But you guys can call me Vivian. Get it?

I suppose I have a box to fetch and a town to save!

See you again soon Darlings!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ineffablye, trees are more sturdy than humans. I'll go for it after I fetch that elusive box. I was indeed speaking of that particular doe. The one stalking Tad. Honestly reading the entries I thought it was demon playing prank on him. Now... I think we may have a very, well, dangerous entity on our hands. I've read some THINGS, not really tomes most should be reading but I did it anyway because I just knew I could take it, and I did, and I remember a certain section. If that doe is what I think it is, then Tad has dipped his fate in the deep and dark end of the destiny pool. What I am is amazing, truly beautiful, and perfect. Is that not clear?
> 
> Traveller don't be silly! I can't go to Mewni, I'm allergic to Unicorns and all their ilk and they are abundant there. I've been to the Underworld, met Tom's dad. Well our field doesn't spit you out in the same spot it sends you to the other side of town facing the same direction. So similar, not the same. Who? I'm Vivian. I'm me. There exists no term in this particular world that describes me better than perfect. I'm not a perfect being, that's different. Uttering anything closer would probably break the internet. I like the internet. So I won't be doing that.
> 
> Airlea, I'm not a demon on any level. My old and true name was forgotten, also very long, which is probably the reason it was lost in the first place. So call me 66N or Vivian or Vivi. I don't really care. THAT Rick is well, not the most swell of Ricks. As a matter of fact I find his lack of swell pitiful. Poor thing. BREAD! Oh yes that makes sense. Maybe I can get a competent Dan if I tap into his latent feelings for our dear kidnapped host. Roy will probably like it too. Maybe. Most likely.
> 
> Oh SynthSea, an interesting theory, but I greatly doubt it. I concur on that security. Maybe before he gets back I'll make a few changes to this low-tech mess. Call me anything you like. I prefer 66N or Vivi. Vi? Ian? They all work.


	48. Hey Guys

A proper title? Who needs those!

How're you doing? I'm fine! Thanks for asking you are so polite.

So I went into the bunker to get the box. The really important box. Several things happened over the course of the past two weeks.

Several, many, quite a few things.

I will go over those things now.

With all the bravery of a great hero I ventured deep below the surface into the cold darkness of the bunker. It was cold and dusty, smelling of dirt, rust, and metal. My night-vision kicked in once I reached the inner tunnels, since the energy seemed to be off (I assume the place had a form of reusable energy cell or solar power), and I made way stealthily through each dirt path and inner chamber until I found something most peculiar.

There is the center of the deepest chamber was a box.

Dun Dun Duuuuun.

Spooky scary!

It looked like a normal box at first, but as I drew closer the air around it began to distort, like in a sauna, exactly like that. I could sense that their was something either living inside the thing or that thing itself was alive and this was setting off my danger sensors big time. I wanted to nope right out of this dimension right then! However I was a perfect creature on a mission, and I wasn't just about to quit over a tingly sickening feeling deep within the pit of my digestive system.

Reaching out toward the box a I swallowed the negative vibes and pulled out the device I made from the parts I got from Dan. Think one of those claw things you always wanted as a kid, but filled with magic. 

Out of pure bravery I made my way back towards the exit at full speed and that's when it showed up. THE SHAPESHIFTER.

Dun Dun Dunnnnnn.

It had taken the form of a gnome, but I knew better. Without hesitation I kicked and continued out toward the exit. I was on the surface and I could hear it screaming behind me. I had to get that box back where it belongs so I kept going. I could hear the screeches for some time, but they suddenly came to a stop. Curios, I looked back... and regretted it.

Sooooo you know how the letter said the One Who Walks Amongst the Trees? 

Well, I saw a thing. 

A rather large horrific thing and I've a LOT of large horrific things.

So THAT has the hots for Mr. Strange.

Okay.

I won't judge.

Too cool for that.

Anyway it kind of... ate the shapeshifter or absorbed it, I'm not sure.

When it faced towards ME I was about to leave.

Then it addressed me and I...

I'm not gonna lie.

I cried.

Just instant waterworks.

Despite how abysmal its appearance its voice was... hauntingly beautiful. No doubt a less perfect being would have probably just died, because it was that powerful. Probably why it elected to send letters instead.

It asked me to give it the box and I did.

Could it be trusted? 

Probably not.

Was I gonna deny this creature its request?

Most certainly, definitely, without question no.

Then it left into the deep of the forest over the course of the day things slowly went back to normal.

The citizens, gnomes, cats, and other creatures of the forest reappeared in town. They seemed unharmed. Mostly. A few were a bit out of it at first and really confused. The whirlpool disappeared, along with the large hands and voices. The force field bubble vanished too.

However all day I went through the townsfolk and I couldn't find Tad.

I looked throughout town, around the lake, and finally I searched the woods near his home. It was sunset when I finally came across our familiar and naive host laying in a small clearing... And a certain black eyed doe. 

I was caught in a staring contest with the thing before it finally gave up and ran back into the woods.

VICTORY.

Feeling relieved I approached his unconscious body. He appeared for the most part unharmed by the deer thing, but I couldn't wake him up even after I slapped him a couple of times and shook him.

He's still not awake and it's been like a week. So he's in a coma at the closest hospital along with Dan who's seeing a psychiatrist. Doctor said he doesn't have any brain damage and they aren't quite sure why he isn't waking up or when he will so it's going to be a waiting game.

I'm getting most of that information from the gnomes though since I can't exactly enter the hospital for reasons...

Anywho it looks like things are looking up and you'll be getting Tad back soon hopefully.

Probably not next week since they'll probably keep him for observation after he wakes up.

This will be the last update you'll be seeing me though.

I've got places to be, things to see, worlds to grace with my amazing presence.

I'm gonna totally miss you all.

It was fun while it lasted.

Don't let Tad know I used his toothbrush.

I'll be checking back later to see how things are doing, but I won't reply. Maybe I'll sneak in some contact information in a future update though. IF you are interested and I know you are because I'm just SO interesting. Maybe I'll join tumblr or some other site. MAYBE. I'm sort of terrible when it comes to checking in to social media. I'd say it's, because I'm so busy (I am), but I'm also just a little lazy.

Thank you all so much for assisting me on this venture!

Vivian out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ineffablye I did take your suggestion. I was useful. See Dan may not be all there anymore be can still offer some assets. I should probably go look for the Pines now that I'm free. That doe is bad news. Can't say I want to see it again. I'll send my regards before I leave.
> 
> SynthSea It sure is awesome! Dan was there when Tad was taken so he's sort of... traumatized. When everything went down he just broke down. That's all I could get out of him really. Tad is an Acquaintance from long ago. He probably doesn't remember me that well if at all. I doubt he'd recognize me.
> 
> Traveller, I don't know how else to say it. The words to describe the excellence that is me just don't exist. I think systems in the bunker just stopped functioning. I wonder if it died or not. Shapeshifters are resilient. Being eaten or absorbed or possibly transported to another location through the being's giant bod.


	49. Journal Entry 49

Hello Journal.

Hello Readers.

Tad Strange here. I'm finally out of the hospital and have all my paperwork done. It's good to see you again. It's good to see all of you.

I really missed this.

A lot happened while I was gone. 

I bet you're wondering what exactly happened to me and I'm not sure if I'm ready to really talk about it. I've been with a therapist since I woke up. Dr. Williams said I should take my time with things. I'm just glad I'm back so for the time being let's celebrate! Let's talk about nice things, like bread.

Oh my, it's been quite sometime since I've had any bread. When I came home all the bread I owned was either eaten or moldy and even I don't like moldy bread. Dan sent me some fresh rolls so I'm good for now. He seemed a bit down at first, everyone is. Getting kidnapped and taken to THAT place for a few weeks. It's miraculous everyone got out relatively safe. The town was a little messed up from the whole thing, we'll get through it though.

I've yet to go trough the past few entries, but I know someone else has been updating the journal in my absence. It's hard to believe I've missed so many entries!

I think someone used my toothbrush. It wasn't where I left it.

The next entry will be our 50th entry! Anyone up for an new bread recipe! I'll ask for one the next time he drops by.

I also seem to have recovered a few of my memories I lost when I was younger. They're coming back little by little. At least I think they're memories. The therapist thinks that this traumatic event has awakened something I've previously lost. Now that I think about it myself a large chunk of my school life is just a blur. I didn't realize it till I started remembering them.

As far as my health goes I don't seem to have anything wrong physically and that's wonderful, but... How do you put it? This experience will forever scar me.

After entry fifty I think this journal will stop for a long while and I'll start a new journal with all the things I've started to recall. Like the werewolf incident in high school. Actually it seems like these memories have something to do with the oddities of Gravity Falls.

I think I'll call it "The Mysterious Life of Tad Strange".

Or something like that.

Maybe I can work my way up to what's happened most recently. I think things will settle down for a while. In the meantime I was told the Pines are still missing. I'll let you know if anything happens regarding that. I hope they're alright.

For now let me ask you all this. How have you been? What have you been up to? I'll try to answer your questions in return, but I'm quite ready to talk about what happened in the other world.

Hopefully I'll be able to update more regularly.

Until next time.

Goodnight Journal.

Goodnight Readers.


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